I Want To Disappear. [Marilyn Manson/Twiggy Ramirez Oneshot]

When You're Suffering Know That I've Betrayed You.

The sky was just turning Black when I came home. The Warmth in California always drove the Long sleeves from my outerwear, making everything I've been through visible to everyone who look's at Me. I stuck the key in the slot, starring down at those little white lines, every time I leave the house I get so worry some. What if it's all over and I wasn't here to stop Him? But, I was a Dreamer, I imagined that I'd open the door and find Him stirring a pot on the Stove, he'd tell me he was sorry and we'd move on. But, he'd changed, and I knew that... I walked into the house, it was quite, no Television, no Music playing. I dropped everything in my hand's after shutting the door. I bolted into the bedroom seeing my Boyfriend's lazy eyes traced over to me as I called out his Name. "Why are you running?" He muttered, "I just thou-" I mumbled, stopping myself. I sucked on my lower lip. I turned, feeling ignorant for ever worrying. I made my way back to the Living room to gather our grocery bags I've simply thrown down. Tears build up in my eyes, they streamed down my face as I knelled down to get everything. I crumbled to my knee's, I bit my index finger to keeping from making a sound. I leaned against the wall, I just couldn't take it any longer, Brian was A different person since he'd became Depressed, he hasn't got out of bed In three days. For the first few months of this, I'd go cuddle him, and kiss him all over. Sometimes we'd even have Sex, but he's shown no interest in me. This all started back in July: What was suppose to be the best Summer of our lives turned Ugly when Brian changed, in was A slow decline that no one seemed to notice but me, I tried to tell Kenneth, or even Stephen but they said that he'd be okay, that Brian has always done this. I've known Brian my entire life and I've never seen him be Depressed, not like this.  Anyways, back in July...

I remember very, very, clearly. It was the hottest day of Summer. I got the phone call that my Mother had passed away, you can probably see how upsetting that was for me, because she raised me on her own I've never really knew my Father. I remember every detail of the day, because it changed my life forever. We were at the Studio, messing around, yes- When I got the phone call. I told everyone with very little emotion that I had to return home, so I drove myself to the very house me and Brian still live in together. Once I arrived I carried myself into the The only Bathroom in our house, with shaky legs, that feeling was unreal and I can't believe I still remember all of this. Once in the Bathroom I remember tearing apart A Razor blade, just A cheap, regular Shaving Razor because I'd thrown all my Blades away the past year when me and Brian became Partners. I was wearing a Dress that day, A pale pink dress that Brian doesn't know I still have to this day, It's hidden the spare Closet. Anyways, That dress is no longer Pink,... It's Red. I dug the Razor into my left wrist without thinking twice, I hadn't done anything like this since I just A teenager. In all of my adolescence years I never remembered seeing this much Blood, maybe because the Cut was just deeper than it ever had been. And, on top of all that I cut again and again over all my old scars until I was sure I was going to A( Pass out, or B( Die. Either outcome was just great for me. And, that's what happened I passed out until Brian found me. I was sitting on my legs in the Bathroom floor, collapsed over onto myself.. Fuck, I can't even tell you about the look in his eyes. Brian was crumbling in front of me in that moment I saw him change, something snapped inside of Him and he's been depressed every since. I've tried everything to fix him, but Brian is broken for good this time... I snapped from my thoughts, starring into the nothingness I call home. Even though I did not want to it was my Job to pull everything to gather and start making dinner for Brian. I gathered my last bit of strength for pulled myself from the floor. I imainged Brian laying in bed, starring blankly on the verge of tears all the fucking time. But, still I couldn't let him go. I broke him and I should fix him, right? I carried everything into the Kitchen, I realized I'd forgotten the main ingredient to Brian's favorite meal, I sighed, walking towards the Bedroom. "Hey, sweetie, I have to run back to the store. Will you be okay here?" I asked Brian as I stood still in the doorway. "I'll be just fine, thanks.. Jeordie." He mumbled with such pain in his voice. "Brian...?" I paused while he nodded, He starred me down as he played with his own fingers. "I still love you." I told Brian, I truly did no matter what happened I would always love him. "I love you, Jeordie." Brian spoke, letting a tear fall from his eye. I turned to leave our bedroom and soon our house.

I made my way out to my car and drove to the Store in such a quick manner, I hated leaving my Angel at home alone where I couldn't watch him. I knew in my Heart and Soul I could save him. I ran through the Grocery store getting what I needed, I just knew something was wrong back at home. I drove all the way home with tears pouring down my face, I left the Grocery bag in the car not caring the slightest bit.

And, until that very moment I very never realized that Bad thing's happened to Good People until I saw A note that read the words 'Sorry' and A trail of blood leading towards the Bathroom.