Her (Rewrite)

Omake I: Your Guide

[Behind the scenes]

"Hello everyone! This is Sakura Haruno, one of the main characters in the book. I'm here with my very charming, M.I.A husband and...some of the very important people. Nothing much, I just hope you get through the end of the book and enjoy. I enjoyed acting for this. My part is very...hmm, you see...different from the canon." Sakura was wearing a casual sunday dress, and a Starbucks coffee in her hand. Beside her was Sasuke, who just rolled his eyes. But he was looking at her.

"You still love me."

"Sasuke?? Shut up. The camera's rolling, right?"

"I meant either way."

"Oh." Sakura blushed. Sasuke surprised Sakura by giving her a kiss in the cheek, to which Sakura's resistance was useless. Naruto rolled his eyes exasperatedly, sitting on the back of a chair on Sakura's right side. "Let's hope the readers know that. Anyhow, it's about our children, right? Let's focus on that. You guys are way behind history."

"That's wrong, dobe. You forgot how history works in this book." He gave Naruto an innocent look, sincerely. "It never goes away."

"Right." Naruto drank his coffee. "I forgot that."

"Our children. I like that." Sakura commented sweetly.

Naruto was scratching his head, embarrassed. "What were we going to ask the readers again?"

"Is that even legal? Or normal?" Sasuke said with a bit of a smile. "Sneaking behind the author's and Kishi's back. But that's good, a'right. Ain't no time to be serious."

"Actually, we were going to ask Naruto here what's his secret in reading a book." Sakura took the camera's attention as someone as carefree as her spoke in-between laughs and never-ending jolly smiles. Almost like this was the happiest day of her life. And Sasuke was right there, appreciating her beside him—her very existence.

"Huh? We're given a chance to be out-of-character for once and you give me the weirdest question of all?" At the look of confusion written in his face, his teammates burst out laughing, arms on their waists. Naruto said in mockery, "Like, why don't we ask Sasuke why he's such a dick...I'm serious—something like that...."

"You're dicker than me, you know. 'Coz I'm out in the village, and you, you're there—but you're married to your paperworks. Makes me wonder why I'd even compete for the position with you."

"Asshole," Naruto said, a glimmer in his eyes that sparked mockery and challenge. "You're the one with no balls assuming it took you so long to come back."

"Guys..." Sakura was choking.

"Balls...why don't we ask Sakura 'bout that?" Sasuke winked at him.

"GUYS. Chill. You're both asshats because you'll do something that will really piss off your little ones. Or already are, since I'm against spoilers." She placed an arm between them; always the one to call of a fight before it could even start. Then, she looked at Sasuke, disappointed. "And you, baby, I haven't seen Naruto's dick, okay? Maybe once, but that was in the hot springs and he tried to take a chance—"

"Naruto..." Sasuke was growling.

"—in canon."

Naruto raised his hands in surrender, giving a Not my fault, it is what it is look—which only aroused his best friend's short-lived of a do-not-reach-for temper.

"I was trying to hint a spoiler by the way." Sasuke crossed his arms. He wasn't looking at the camera—he never did, even once.

"What's wrong, Sasuke? Can't look at the camera straight in the eye? You know everyone wants to see your face." Naruto teased.

"If you're talking about lying, all of us here are liars." Sasuke clicked his tongue, looking at the nodding Sakura. "In the book, I mean. It's crazy, but I love it. There are so many reasons you'll get fucked up, to fuck you up, or fuck someone...I'm kidding." Sakura laughed silently next to him, covering her mouth shyly. "Lots of drama and romance if you ask me. So many unfinished business. It's hard to imagine this story ending. What else? Betrayal, strip of innocence, action, feminism—I can't even start."

"The Great War really had an impact on us," Naruto said. "Its impact, I guess, was so great, that we didn't see that we never really moved on." He paused for a few moments, recalling the moments of his shoot. "And I think it's important that we get through the smallest pieces of everything, before heading to a different story, you know. If you want to be good to your family."

"The saddest part in here is family. Family, family, family. A lot of things could go down. Before you even know it, your child is slipping away from you for a randomest reason. Before you even know it, you either love too much or you forget to love. I don't want to spill anymore, but you'll get sucked into the rythym of these...devastating, eye-opening themes Author-sama came up with. It's the same Naruto Universe, but on a different scale: it's darker, it's better." said Sakura.

"Set-aside the fantasy and psychological thriller genre, I think we did a great job in terms of portraying the scene in the Author's head. We did make a mess of ourselves in the book, didn't we? And it gets worse...when we fall down in front of our children." said Sasuke. He, too, was affected by the words he was saying.

"I hate to end this discussion, I really do, but I think it's time we hand our readers to the real thing. Should we say our last words?"

"Thanks for the reminder, Sak. Hmm...don't trust the characters. Some, including me, and that handsome guy over here are what you call 'unreliable'." Naruto said, facing the camera head-on. He turned to Sakura and Sasuke. "And I think...your girl is, too. Right?"

"If you as much as give another spoiler, we will lose the readers! I will not forgive you for this!" Said Sakura.

"Well, there are plenty of stories. Maybe it will only make the readers beg for more." Sasuke said, reasoning with Naruto's enthusiasm in hopes of making his girlfriend calm down.

"I think the story will play with you. One moment you're here, next thing you know you're there...it's devoted to its inconsistency, but it's altogether beautifully forged to create a masterpiece." Sakura said, then looked at the boys with a bored look. "What else?"

"Oh, I haven't answered your question."

"Yeah, right."

"Find connection." Naruto said. "I'm a writer, I guess, so I know that complexity is urgent for a (great) story. There is always going to be a missing puzzle piece, and it's up to you, the readers—to bind your hypotheses together. So...break a leg. Enjoy every word. It may not seem like it, but word by word—to create one perfect sentence—it's harder than it looks. It gets guts, sweat, blood, and a lot of endless self-empowerment and willpower to get there."

"There's a reason for everything."

"You're just using that to cover up for your absent record, bastard."

"I guess they'll just have to make a wild guess why I'm always gone," Sasuke smirked, taking Naruto's offense to something smarter. "And, what kind of hell will come when I get back and find out that—"

"THANK YOU EVERYONE for watching this omake/reading this bonus chapter. We hope that this has somehow been a useful guide to expect what's coming. Just comment on the section below, and tell us what you think! Tell Author-sama what you think. Right now she's working hard on getting chapters done. Way too busy, really, after torturing characters like that...so yep. Anyway. We love you. This is Sakura from Team Seven, and watch me as I transform into being a Mother! Ba-bye!"

The TV turned shut with a spark.

"Wow," Shikadai said. "That was impressive."

"We're in the next Omake, right?" Boruto said, hoping. "You alright, Sarada?"

"I'm fine, I just have my period that's why." Sarada was looking at the remote, looking at it as if she were an alien. What she said really didn't matter much to Shikadai and Boruto's blinking eyes. "And you're right, Uzumaki. We're on the next Omake." She glared at the black screen in front of them now, a sharp, inquisitive glare looking back at their reflection. "The question is, how old are we supposed to look?"