Broken Beyond Repair [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter One

"I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It's almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up in a nightmare." -Ned Vizzini, It's Kind of a Funny Story

Teachers had been looking at me weirdly for some time, they were treating me carefully as if I would break under pressure. They were also giving me a lot of attention, keeping me behind when the class was over just to talk about how the homework was going, if I found anything difficult and so on. At the time I didn't know why. I never said anything, I did all my homework, did okay on my tests. I was a good girl. I wasn't suspicious. Sure I didn't have any friends, but not everyone have friends right? I just kept to myself. 

One day when I got home from school they were there. Just sitting there, waiting for me. They had taken him, turns out they had been keeping an eye on him since she died. It's always like this, isn't it? Everyone turns unstable when their love dies, that's why I was not going to fall in love. I already was my own weakness, my mind was poisoning me and I didn't need my heart to poison me as well with false hope of love. A small part of my brain questioned of soulmates and such but I ignored it. I didn't have one of those. Anyways, ever since I found them in my home they have been questioning me. It's just the same thing over and over. I wanted to answer, but I couldn't. My tongue got tied, my mind went blank, my muscles clamped up and I started sweating. I could barely look them in the eyes. I felt like I was guilty for not being able to answer. 

They were compassionate people, they were only trying to help me. But how could they help me? Sure, they took him away. But it was only for a while, he would come back. They wouldn't be able to keep him, he always came back. Didn't they understand that I was alone in this? Days were numb and always passing so slowly. I got so fast tired of the day. More often then not, I'd be in bed by 6 pm wanting the day to end. Wishing I wouldn't wake up the next morning, always waking up disappointed. But it's not like I could tell anyone that. I had more than enough attention as it was.

"Come on Celia!" The man said, we were in the same room again. The room looked like some interrogation room, it had beige walls with only one large window. The window was a one-way see through window, from where I sat it looked black and reflected the room I was in. The table was white, filled with some file. The file was slim, but you could see some papers in it.  I felt the curiosity in me flare for a moment before everything became numb again. The man, interrogating me, looked young. He might be in the middle of the thirties, you could see his laughing wrinkles. He was married, I saw his ring on his left hand. He probably had children too. He was a good father, I could see that. He had blue eyes, bright like the skies in a warm summer day. It looked like he had dark hair, but it was becoming grey. He was a white splotch in my grey world. I bet his world is colourful.

A slam on the table made me flinch and it broke me away from my thoughts. I stared at him with wide eyes, I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate.

The room was closing in, my chest was tightening making it harder for me to breathe.

I waited for something, something that was overdue but it never came. I looked up at the man. 

"Shit! No, I'm sorry Celia. Just calm down." The man said and tried reaching over to me but I flinched and scooted further away. I tried calming myself down; by telling myself that he meant no harm and that he wasn't him.  Someone knocked on the door before opening it slowly, the woman stepped in. I was tempted to run away, I would be safer than I was here. At least I'd like to think that, even though he had friends out there, it would be better than to sit around like a sitting duck. I wouldn't get far with that woman in front of the door, nor with the man sitting across from me. Then I'd really be locked in to be a sitting duck.