25 songs, 25 days, 25 stories

Day 04

A song that calms you down:

No more second chance by MKTO

"No more second chances, no more plastic lies

No more giving me reasons to make me have to say goodbye"

The words spun around in my head, rewind.... Actually, they literally spun around, through my brand new head phones, pouring the lyrics into my mind.... and my SOUL! Haha.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the huge shadow that always fell over me at exactly 8.47am Monday to Friday almost every week. Steller State High School. 

I gulped, and tried all my might to become the invisible person I was at home. 

Everyday was like this, but I guess being at home was worse. It was like I didn't even exist, unless they wanted something done for them, or I was being given I lecture about exactly how big of a fail I was. Joy! 

At school it was the complete opposite. I was always noticed. The red slap marks on my cheeks, my amazing lack of speech but the amazing non-lack of having the smartest brain in the school. 

Today was going to be different. Because today was the official last day at high school for me and my grade. And I had to give a special speech. That piece of my paper was burning my pocket.  Why did I have to do it?

All parents were expected to come to the graduation, and I so hoped they did.

______________________________________________________

The time had come to speak. I stood up. Shit. My brain started to melt. No. No. Not this again. I could do it. I would do it.

I swallowed and took to the stage, and looked around, looking for my family. I looked in the frout row. The back row. The isles. I couldn't see them. Someone whispered for me to hurry up. I took a huge breath. No more second chances. They had blown it. I spoke the words written on the paper, and slowly fell into my speech, forgetting they had let me down once more. I wished never to see them again. And I haven't yet.

______________________________________________________

That's why, as I write the last diary entry I even intend to write, I think of the family who never thought kindly of their eldest daughter, who never cared, who never supported others. And I bet they think of me a lot now, for I am everything they wanted. I am rich and powerful and valued in society. And they will never be.