9. Regretted Actions♠️

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Music^: Quiet Arrows- Find a way

Chapter 9: Regretted Actions
♠️Memory: 6 years ago

The sun was shining on my face, the sand was biting in my eyes, the heat slowly taking an advantage of me. The only thing what I could see was a desert, an endless view of sand. No wonder a particular man had settled itself on a Sandy Island. I mean, look at the endlessness!

Every step I took, almost felt like the wind trying to push me two steps back. My throat was as dry as sandpaper, feeling the amount of sand which had found its way into my mouth. I was almost by Rainbase, knowing it by the air, feeling it change through my travel.

Mihawk had dropped me off by the closest distance from the 'City of Dreams'. He was quite worried about me, knowing I hate the heat of the sun. Mihawk gave me a bottle of water, which I lost after fighting a giant crab... who looked smugly the whole time! Pervert.

If I walked at the same space, I would be able to reach it before the sun touches the ground. The short strands of hair were irritating me, as it flew in my face every time I opened my eyes. It felt different... after a few years of being myself. Now walking in a desert with no water and acting like a person who doesn't truly exists.

Well, Hikaru is wanted by the Marine. Not because of a crime but because I disappeared into thin air. No trace of me, no sign, nobody knowing me, nobody seeing me. The confusion will end soon, after I have seen Crocodile living his life for a bit, if he can live without me, then I can move on.

I will return to the Marine, I will see Smoker and explain everything! Almost everything. Of course, I'm going to tell them I am no male. That I'm not the person who I said I was, telling them how I lost control, telling them it was all a mistake.

Telling them I never intended to create a second personality, creating a person who doesn't exist, causing people to worry for that person. It was a mistake, a big mistake. A stupid, idiotic mistake. What never should have happened, what could have saved many lives.

What could have saved many encounters with people, saving the feelings Doflamingo gave me, preventing the time Mihawk spent on me, just as Smoker. Where I didn't start my travel to Crocodile, where I didn't eat the Devil Fruit.

If it was just that easy, but the sea is too big. Everyone are living their lives, accepting what they have done, not thinking anymore about the moments I was with them, because they are moving on. Something I am not be able to do, apparently. I hold on to the past, I don't want to let go... because I want to feel what they felt. Being left behind.

The feeling of being forgotten, the feeling of hate because of not being able to go back. Time ticks further, the sun rises every day as the moon starts to show itself too. New pirates beginning their lives on the sea, some taking their last breath on their beloved ship.

I want to delete my existence from their lives, a file disappearing, a memory what is forgotten by all. I know I am not allowed to say sorry, I know I can't go back to them. How would the world go, if I didn't interfere? Just being a woman with a family on an island, just living a normal life?

I looked at my hand, slowly watching my claws appear. Have I done something good in my life? Like one thing? I can't remember. I only remember waking up and seeing dead people laying around me, knowing it was me as I saw the blood on my hands. The smell of blood following me as it was stained in my clothes.

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