Je t'aime

twenty :: love

twenty :: love

It was Monday morning and Henry had came over without me knowing. Although, I had been caught off-guard and surprised, I had loved him there in my house. It was like he belonged there, and he was which to my surprise had gotten along very well with my overprotective brother Chris. Mondays weren't usually my day, especially when it had always been after the weekend. I had been a little edgy in my seat, wondering whether my mum would come home from her morning shift and find Henry laughing and joking around with the rest of the Goodman family. I hadn't forgotten about her warning when she had told me to break things with Henry even if it had been fake. I didn't trust myself to speak when Henry had been there. It was such a relief that by the time we had gotten to decide to go to school, it was when I was able to breathe properly. Henry had looked at me funny on the way to his car but didn't ask any questions and I was glad for that. I risked a glance at his direction, trying to read any expressions that was visible to his face. But I didn't see any. 

But the funniest thing that had ever happened to me was when I just realized that I might have started to develop feelings for a boy whom had been there all along and you were just too blind to see it. I finally concluded why people fell for that someone so hard, so hard that you couldn't even think of living without them nor even thought of managing without them in your life. It had taken me a whole seventeen years of my life to realize that love was true, that it wasn't based on what the other wanted you to be; it was about trust and the love you feel for each other. Although, I hadn't felt love before or even now, but I knew I feel something strong for Henry Phillips. Even if myself didn't want to accept it, but my body and soul and my heart knew what was exactly true. I had read about liking and disliking someone in books, couples, and those cheesy but romantic movies. And you even dream of that someone being the one truly for you and will never make you cry. Well, not intentionally anyway. 

These were the thoughts that had been running in my head as I sat in Henry's car, fiddling with my bag's handle nervously. Since his unexpected visit this morning, he had decided; well had asked my father if he could give me a lift and it seemed like my dad had already liked him in the first place. That should have counted for some brownie points, right? Everything implied to be looking up for the two of us, even if what we had was a fake relationship. But then again, hadn't I just admitted I liked him? That had to count for something right? Even if I was pretty afraid to tell him that, I knew I had to if I wanted to know what he felt for me too. 

"Are you okay?" Henry asked, and glanced at me quickly.

I nodded, hoping my voice would come out strong and not weak or neither wobbly. "Yeah"

He nodded and focused his attention on the road, his fingers drummed against the steering wheel softly as we came to a soft but efficient halt as the stop lights came to view. What do you normally ask the person you liked whom was sitting right next to you and an inch away from touching, if he feels anything strongly for you? Or was it me who need to make the confession and tell him that I liked him, or do I just sit here in the passenger car looking like an idiot with troubled thoughts? See, this was one of those hard things that comes into your life and you just didn't know what to do especially. And not to mention that the guy you fell for was the hottest, baddest person in your school? And to know that there were predators like Hayley Vonne who was out there to get you and eat you alive but did it slowly? Like per se, she was the predator while I was the prey she had been waiting to catch and tear my limbs off slowly and made me watch her slowly. Okay, that was totally too graphic and I knew I would go crazy if didn't stop now with a wild imagination that could get me hopping off this car and running for my life. 

But that didn't meant that I had gotten off the hook of my own problem. Normally, I would have been wise like I used to do when it came to solving a problem especially when it came to boys but those problems only occurred girls' like my best friend Danika right? Not that I had any friends other than Holton and Danika of course.