delirium (sequel to apathy)

13

                  13

                            ＰＴ ２.

Mom looked at me, a noticeable look of fear and worry on her face. I could see it in her eyes. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes, and she looked away from me, shifting her attention towards Grandpa. He frowned, sighing. 

"Monae..I know it's going to be hard-"

"I can't! He's my only son and I..." Mom mumbled, looking down into her lap. I placed my head on her shoulder, right in the crook of her neck. She caressed the side of my face with her hand, sighing. Mom kissed my forehead, and I squeezed her hand, trying to search for something to say to her. It wasn't hard to understand where she was coming from. I was her first child, and I had never been too far from her, except when I went to Japan. Now I was going to be moving from place to place, and for ever how long it takes to track Marten down..I won't be seeing her. 

It was kind of scary, actually. 

I had been right within her reach for seventeen years, and now I wasn't. I could possibly die out here, and never see Mom again. That's what terrifies me. I'll possibly never see my parents, ever again. But..I had to do it. What if whoever is actually doing this decides to hurt Mom..and I could've stopped it a long time ago? I didn't want to happen. 

"Mom..I have to do this," I whispered. She looked at me, nodding. I knew she understood that I had to do this, but she just didn't want me to. If I was in her place, I wouldn't want my child to do it either. She wiped her tears, taking my face into her hands. Looking into her eyes, she sighed, kissing my nose. I could see that she was deciding what to say, weighing all her choices. 

I softly smiled at her, and she looked at Grandpa. 

"Amir..Amir can go."

I knew it was hard for her to say that, just from her tone of voice. I could tell she was trying to hold her tongue, trying to keep herself from changing her answer. 

Grandpa smiled, nodding. 

"Alright. We'll leave on the twenty-first." 

For the few days until the twenty-first, the tension around the house was weird. We had barely spoken to each other after the day she said I could go with Grandpa and them. On my side, part of it was because I didn't know what to say, and that I was busy packing my suitcases. I had nearly packed my whole closet, and it was weird to see it was..bare. I had also packed a few close things, like a family photo. Last time we took one of these was when I was in the fourth grade, and I was thinking..when Dad comes out of his coma, that's the first thing we should do. 

I was trying to think of any other special things that I could pack, but everything else was either too big to take or too small, that I might lose it. Biting my lip, a knock at the door got my attention. I stood up to get it, thinking that it was Mom. Upon opening the door though, I was in for a surprise. 

Brandon.

I raised my eyebrows, and he softly smiled at me. 

I completely had no idea what in the hell to say to him. 

Brandon and I didn't talk. He was just..here. Like a filler. So I had no idea why he was standing here, looking at me, he could be talking to Mom, or something. 

"Amir..I heard that you were going on a trip," he cocked one of his eyebrows up, maintaining eye contact with me. I nodded, and he smiled, wider.

"Well..I wanted to give you something."