The Last Adventure of Dr. Yngve Hogalum

Chapter 6 ~ Magnetron Averts Ruination

"I concocted a story, which seemed plausible enough at the time, that I was in fact a victim of treachery by the two young dastards who were now making their escape."

Peering up from the bottom of the grave, I sensed at once that these two gentlemen clearly intended to derive as much merriment as possible from my inauspicious circumstance. It seemed most likely that their mirth would culminate in my arrest—a potentiality I could not permit.  More so than the indignity of my own incarceration, I desired to avoid any hindrance in the completion of my mission.

I arrived at the conclusion that any encounter with law enforcement would rapidly deteriorate upon the discovery that I now carried Dr. Hogalum's head in a burlap sack which hung from my belt.  No, police involvement had to be avoided at all costs.

I attempted to misdirect the men by exhorting them to chase down the two young rascals who had scampered away.  "After them!" I cried, pointing in a random direction. The caretaker calmly inquired whom it was I intended they should follow.  I concocted a story, which seemed plausible enough at the time, that I was in fact a victim of treachery by the two young dastards who were now making their escape.  The caretaker informed me that he saw no one else and that I seemed to be the only individual present worthy of his attention.  The night watchman, however, withdrew his gaze from me and squinted vigilantly at the trees bounding the cemetery's perimeter.

My mind swirled with a variety of dubious courses of action.  I decided that all avenues of escape began with deliverance from the abysmal hole which I occupied.  I attempted a direct approach (continuing in my farcical role as victim) and pleaded to be lifted from the cold, damp grave.  Much to my astonishment and consolation the men complied, each of them presenting me with one of their hands in a miraculous display of decency and abject foolishness.

I thanked them lavishly and began to explain my peculiar situation.  I commenced my prevarication by appearing to struggle with the quantity of time which had elapsed since I had been discourteously thrust by rustic scoundrels into Dr. Hogalum's grave.  I reached into my vest as if to consult my pocket watch, but instead extracted my soon-to-be-patented Hypno-chronometer, a device I had constructed with the unwitting assistance of Valkusian.  I held up the device and appealed for their attention to it.  Once transfixed by the curious patterns of gyrating faceted gemstones mounted within, they were little more than moon-faced somnambulists, quite agreeable in disposition and credulous as toddlers.

I continued weaving my fabricated tale into the mental fibers of their now-receptive psyches.  I will confess here (though Valkusian would skin and bleed me were he ever to know) that I bamboozled the stupefied pair into assisting with the loading of my wagon.  What choice did I have?

After I roused them with a snap of my fingers, the men were transformed.  The caretaker's former swagger was replaced with a deferential manner I found quite pleasant.  The night watchman's respectful empathy for my imaginary ordeal began to grate on me, though, so I bade them good-night.

I had grown weary of Richmond, and I still had a long return journey to Pennsylvania.  My entire laboratory was idled there, stocked and prepared, lacking only the one final ingredient.