06 | a familiar face

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❝You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways.❞ ▬ When You Were Young, The Killers.

CHAPTER SIX


Though I'm not sure why, Niall's comment has annoyed me. We amble up the high street, the Irish boy gushing about how much food he's going to eat, and debating whether to opt for Nando's, T.G.I. Fridays, McDonalds, or Wetherspoons, all while being blissfully unaware of just how much his previous words have affected me.

His voice runs laps around my head, repeating the same phrase over and over again: people who are sad, people who are sad, people who are sad. Suddenly, I can feel everything. The hurt and the trauma and the abundant cuts, which dance up and down my arms and legs and stomach, blatant reminders of how much I truly detest myself. They feel blindingly painful pressed against the warm fabric of my clothes; I hadn't noticed that until now, which is crazy because they hurt so much I can barely breathe. The world spins around me. Ten minutes ago I was, for the first time in a while, happy. But now, I'm considering turning away and walking straight home.

No. Get a grip, Anna. I clench my fists and grit my teeth. Of course, I can never truly be happy as long as there are wounds on my skin and pain in my heart, but at the end of the day, Niall is still here, still hungry, still heart-achingly lonely; besides, I'm sure he meant nothing by his comment. After all, anybody could look at me and sense that I'm not exactly enjoying life. I'm probably just overreacting and over thinking, as usual. I take a deep breath, internally counting to ten. It'll be okay, I murmur to myself. You're okay.

"Anna?" Niall's voice causes my head to snap up; he has one eyebrow raised, questioningly, and rightfully so because seconds earlier I'd been furiously glaring at the ground, willing myself to not be such an idiot. "Uh... are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I say, and to prove my point, I force a grin. Surprising myself, I reach out to grab Niall's pale arm and pull him close, our hips bumping together. I'm determined to distract both him and myself, steal both our minds from our previous conversation and my reaction to it, and if pushing through my shyness and being a little flirty is the way to do it, then I'll give it my all. "So, handsome, where do you want to go?" My mind is screaming at me -- handsome? Seriously? You actually just said that out loud to a guy you hardly know? -- but I do my best to ignore it, and flash Niall an easy smile.

He mirrors my expression and looks up, his eyes fixing to a nearby restaurant. "I've decided on Nando's," he says, nodding towards the aforementioned building, whilst lazily wrapping one arm around my shoulder. Anybody looking at us from afar would assume that we were an ordinary couple; but, of course, we're neither of those things. "I mean, if that's okay with you. I'm not sure how expensive it is..." He trails off, shrugging timidly.

I scoff. "It doesn't matter how expensive it is. I want you to have a good time tonight, okay?"

Niall beams at me and grabs my hand, eagerly pulling me towards the door. We enter the restaurant and the gorgeous scent of peri-peri chicken hits us like a ton of bricks; Niall's stomach gurgles, barely audible over the chatter that fills the room, but apparent nonetheless.

A waitress leads us to a small table in an exclusive, partly hidden-away corner of the room; we slide into our seats and, wasting no time, each pick up a menu. Niall's eyes almost pop out of his head; he stares at the word-covered sheet of card, mouth open, his stomach undoubtedly grumbling at the wide range of available food. This, for him, is a food-filled form of paradise.

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