Chapter One

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Kurt's Point of View

Being part of the Glee Club is no way shape or form ‘cool’ and being gay, in this prejudiced society, doesn’t help that situation. Slushie facials are the norm now, you don’t know when or where but you know you’re going to get one sooner or later.

I’ve tried to be straight, tried to make myself believe that this is some stupid hormone driven phase that I will grow out of. But that just isn’t me. Doing glee club has made me realise this, I don’t have to live a lie, and although my life may be a little tougher than other people’s, I can get through it. What I am, there is nothing wrong with it and I should be happy that I know who I am and I’m proud of that but unfortunately it’s hard not to care when a large football player is shoving you into lockers and calling you silly little names constantly. I say silly little names but they still hurt. The words ‘lady’ and ‘faggot’ get thrown around like they mean nothing and underneath the sassy comebacks and sarcasm that I throw back it still affects me.

What kind of jerk would do that, you may ask. This particular jerk goes by the name of Dave Karofsky. He is tall, big boned with one of those close cut haircuts. He has been bullying me for a few weeks now and he’s by far the worst. I’ve tried to stop him but the last time I talked back to him he threatened to beat me with ‘the fury’ (the oh so imaginative name he came up for his fists) and I’m not about to be beaten up and have my perfectly cleansed face damaged. (Yes you may think that it’s shallow of me but it’s for my future career. I have to have my face as perfect as possible if I want to get into the acting business. Also if you didn’t know getting punched in the face hurts, a lot.)

He made me feel so insecure about myself I couldn’t really handle it. I didn’t have anyone to talk to since no one was really sympathetic towards my particular case, this was Ohio, no one cared about a gay teenaged boy. My dad was accepting of who I was and I was happy to at least have one person in my life that loved me even if I did like guys. But my dad had recently been in the hospital with a heart condition and I didn’t want to stress him out too much or he’d be straight back in room 52 with a number of wires going in and out of his body and I can’t handle that kind of worry with everything else going on in my life right now so I kind of just shut off, pushed people away, didn’t really care about myself.

I went through my days accepting that I would be taunted at some point of the day over something I really shouldn’t be made fun of. Every night I would cry myself to sleep hoping that it would stop; I know this was unrealistic of me but the torture of living this everyday was too much I had to hold onto something worthwhile. I don’t think I’d ever been this unhappy, not even when my mum died because I knew she didn’t leave my dad and I on purpose. These bullies were just doing it to make my life a living hell and it was breaking me. Slowly and surely I was breaking down into something I didn’t want to be. A nobody. Someone who was just the shell of a person because they have nothing left inside of them to fight back anymore.

Blaine changed all of that.

That week in glee club we were doing boys against girls mash-ups and Schuester had decided to finally make the task a little bit more challenging by making us boys sing songs originally sung by girls.

This was perfect for me as I have one of the most beautiful voices that you would ever have the pleasure to listen to. Unfortunately my voice is falsetto to say the least and some people don’t see the beauty of it but it made me perfect for singing female songs. So obviously I took control.

I had it all set out in my head. We were going to sing a Dianna Ross number, me being the lead of course. But when I pitched this idea to the other guys they didn’t appreciate my artistic idea, especially my idea of wearing boas. 

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