Almost Holding Hands

Chapter 4

It had been 6 months since I moved in with my mother. I wasn't adjusting too well. I mean, what would you expect? I hadn't seen the woman in 5 years. She was some kind of "artist" who lived in the city. It was loud and obnoxious, nothing like the forests I was used too.

I sat up in the small room I was allowed to call my own. It was sweltering hot and I had the window open all the way. I sat on the window sill, sketchbook in hand. I always drew when I was stressed or depressed.

I heard a train blow its horn, church bells chiming just like an Edgar Allan Poe poem, many variety of sirens, and not to mention people.

I looked out, taking in the scenes I was slowly getting familiar with. We didn't live in a big city like New York or anything, but it was still to much for me. The nearest walking trail was way to far away to bike.

The worst part was, my mother was having me teach myself at home. It's not that I wanted to go and be made fun of at public school, it's just that I wanted to drown myself in the mindless routine.

Now all I do are my lessons in my room. Since there are no distractions from other classmates or petty teachers, I can get in done in about 5 hours. Then my mind is filled with loneliness. I can't drown my sorrows in the woods like I used too.

The boys hadn't taken it too well. For the rest of the week we ate, slept, and breathed everything together. We all crashed at Dylans because I couldn't stand to see my dad with that witch, and Derek pretty much lived over there anyways with his dad being a drunk and all.

We pulled a few all nighters, played tons and tons of mario kart wii, and ate absolutely nothing that was healthy. We went to the bridge and went swimming, we walked all over town, we did everything together.

 We wrote every week, sometimes more, but the letters were getting less and less. It was happening very slowly. I could tell though. The latest one I had gotten was Monday.

Dylan told me about how he and Derek were moving in with Dylans older brother in the city. They were going to take extra credit classes at a school there. They said they wish I were there. I do to.

I didn't really enjoy living with my mother. She gave a small effort to make me feel at home but she was always busy with painting. My dad always said I had her artistic side.

I avoided her like the plague as much as I could. I just wanted to be left alone.

Whenever it wasn't raining or I just felt like it I would explore this new place. Try a few different bakeries, check out the shops. The Library was my favorite though. It was way bigger than the one back home. It had everything I could imagine. I spent a lot of my time there.

"ASH!! Come down here!" Said my mother, shocking me out of my wandering thoughts.

"There's a letter for you!" She said after a slight pause.

Well that got me down there. Fast.

I saw it on the table. I walked over and grabbed it, running back up to my room. I tore it open and took out the pages of lined paper. I usually got an envelope from the two of them, a few pages from each, but in the same envelope. This one looked like it was from Derek, just him.

I pondered this for a milisecond, but I was too excited to really think about it. Dylan probably just sent his seperate.

I read the letter my heart sinking lower and lower, until I thought I would puke. Tears fell onto the cream colored paper as I kept reading.

No no no, please God no!