How To Be The Best Third Wheel

Original Edition - Tip 5: Be Forever Alone

As I leave the cafeteria, I decide that I do not want to go upstairs just yet. Frankly, lunch has only began like ten minutes ago and I still have another thirty minutes. I head over to the library and greet the librarian. She was always really friendly and nice to talk to. Plus, I was basically always in the library, looking for a new read. After, I go to the fiction section of the library and start looking at the spines of the books.

Being stuck in the middle of the tall bookshelves makes me feel safe. I'm not exactly sure why, but it feels like I've just been disconnected from the rest of the world. I am just about to pull out a book with a bright red spine when I feel a tap on my shoulder.

"James, I don't want to talk to you!" I whisper-yell without turning to face the demon. If I wasn't in a library, I would actually scream at his face. Why is he trying to be all stalker-ish today? "Get away from me! Stop annoying me! What the heck is with you today-"

A familiar voice stops my sentence. "It's not James," he says, laughing quietly.

If you've seen the Disney movie, Inside Out, then you will realize that at this moment, the little people controlling my feelings are going crazy. At this moment, my brain is sending signals to my heart to go over its maximum heart rate and try to kill me off. At this moment, any common sense that I have, all the tests telling me that I am intelligent, do not matter because my body is about to turn the switch and activate the Lara that I do not appreciate.

Maybe if I try my best to be cool, I might actually be able to pull off a conversation with him. Right? I turn around and he smiles, that Crest 3D White Toothpaste commercial smile. Then, I realize that any hope that I had for being normal has vanished into thin air and it is too late.

Activate awkward-self humiliation-mode.

Activated.

I look up at Holden, not knowing what to say except, "What are you doing here?"

If I could punch myself right now, I totally would. What is he doing here? Really? Of course he would be here! The library is a part of the freaking school, Lara! Is it illegal for him to be here? Obviously he is here to get a freaking book! Why else would he be here! I hate myself sometimes.

He raises an eyebrow but still responds. "Um, well I was looking for a novel."

I nod. "Obviously. I mean, why else would someone be at a library? Well, I guess there are computers here and a lot of people play chess. Most people just come here to study but it's the first day of school meaning no work meaning no people studying. So I guess you would have to be getting a book here after eliminating the other options unless-" I stop myself there, realizing that I am mumbling quickly like a crazy person and he probably did not understand a word I said. "Sorry." I say shyly, adjusting my black framed glasses.

"You're funny." he states, out of the blue. He runs his fingers through his dirty blond hair and smiles at me.

What is with this guy and smiling?

"Thanks?" I reply, but it comes out more like a question. I stare at the tips of my shoes, hoping to not embarrass myself any further than I already have.

"Lara, can I ask you a question?" he asks, his eyes looking a bit hesitant.

Wait. Wait a minute. Is he going to ask me out? Is this the moment that I have been waiting for since the seventh grade? Is this the moment from the books and movies, that I've screamed and squealed about? Is it really happening? Only one way to find out.

"Sure!" I extol. Is this it? "What is it?"

"I like someone." he manages to say.

"Who?" I ask, hoping to the Lord that it is me.