Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

18 - Heaven

18

"You knew her?" Hannah asked me as we were driving back to my place. I nodded my head. It's best I just tell her about Ashton now. I trust her not to go blabbing around school.

"She's my crush's girlfriend," I simply tell her. She instantly stopped the car in the middle of the road, while there were cars behind her. She almost screamed, "Your crush is straight?"

"Yes, Hannah, now can you please start driving?" I raise my eyebrows. I could hear the honking of the horns of the other driver from behind us, but Hannah doesn't seem to hear that sound pounding in her head. Thankfully, she began driving after she realized I wasn't going to speak if she didn't.

"Okay, yes. He's straight."

"So what, are you trying to get him over to your side?" she questions wiggling her eyebrows.

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know..." Which is true. I have no idea what I'm doing with Ashton. I like him, a lot, but he's straight and I don't know what to do about that. Would he ever see me the way I see him? Or will he forever just see me as a friend.

"Ethan, you've become so fricking expert at getting straight guys, what the fuck is wrong now?" she asks. I blink out the window and think for a while. "Ashton is just... different."

"Is he homophobic?" 

"No. But that bitch he has as a girlfriend is," I screw up my face then roll my eyes.

"Fuck that," Hannah shrugged, "if you want him you have to make him want you... and I'm not talking about rape."

"Yeah, I get that," I laugh. Hannah and I were silent for a while after, until I told her to drop me off at the hospital. She began to grin and screech as I began to leave the car, but I just rolled my eyes. See why I don't tell anyone stuff about myself. She's going to constantly annoy me about this. Even though it would be really nice to talk about Ashton in school but I also don't want the entire school to be talking about it when Hannah decides to scream at the top of her lungs while talking to me.

I walk up to where my mom usually is and I greet her with a kiss on the cheek. Before I could get anything out, she says, "Chris is coming over tonight again, so be nice. Now go do whatever you do."

"Wait, what?" I furrow my eyebrows, but she only rushed me to move away from her. I groan softly and walked away from her. A nurse met up with me and smiled before giving me the world of tasks to complete. I plan on seeing Ashton, but I highly doubt that would be possible because of how many tasks this single nurse is calling out for me to do. She seems really nice, but I'm really hating her right now.

But then again, this is what volunteering is. Plus there's a part of me that really likes the hospital work. I'm serious about being a doctor. I mean, I may be acting a fool now, but it has always been my dream to be like my mom. And with that thought in my mind, I finish all the tasks in record time. Afterwards, I find something else to do, as I'm already in the helping mood. 

I just feel really good today. Once I started at the hospital, I began to feel so helpful. I was smiling at everyone and offering to help them. And to make things even better, as I was walking down the halls, I ran into Ashton. I smiled at him and began to feel sort of bubbly when he smiled back.

"What's up, man," Ashton says.

"Hey," I greeted.

"Are you staying?" he asks me.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I answered, "Uh I don't know..." Just as he began to speak, my phone went off and I sort of zoned out of our conversation. It's a bit disrespectful, but I was texting a guy earlier and he finally replied so I'm sort of excited to see what he replied with. My eyes quickly scanned the text message and almost immediately realized he was inviting me to a party tonight. I smile down to my phone as I replied positively. I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind me ditching her sill dinner with Chris.

"Are you listening?" Ashton asked me. My smile remained as I blinked up at him, but I was completely confused about what he'd just say. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I'm so embarrassed. "I'm sorry. There's just this party tonight and..." I stopped when I actually looked at his face.

He shrugged his shoulders, "It's no big deal."

"No, I'm listening now," I quickly answer, still feeling like the world's biggest idiot.

"It's nothing - it doesn't matter, I'll see you whenever..."

I bite my bottom lip and ran my fingers through my hair. Ashton began to walk away from me towards his room, and I had to weigh out the pros and cons of staying to actually listen to what he had to say. The first thing I think about is a con ad so I try to think of another. But all just seems to be Cons - which means I should just go. I'm sure he can tell me tomorrow when I come again.

Gosh, but I feel so horrible.

I find myself turning around to go to his room. Even though I won't get laid tonight I would still... uhm... I don't know. Sex isn't always the best option, I guess... 

Trying to convince myself that this is a good idea is not working in my favor, at all. I groan softly before pushing the door to his hospital room and stepping inside. Ashton just seemed bored of life. I mean, I wouldn't really know, but being couped up in a hospital all day every day isn't so fun. 

"What are you doing?" he asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, "Party got cancelled..." And so are my plans for that gorgeous guy I met today. Damn.

"You don't have to-"

"We're friends," I tell him, "I want to." I walk to take a seat on his bed, "Plus that party would have been really... stupid..." 

Ashton laughed, "You must really like me."

"See, I'm a good person. I should go to heaven."

He smiled then said, "You probably are."

"Hmm.. I wouldn't say so..." I mutter. Ashton looked at me and laughed. I may volunteer at a hospital and do some good in my life, but those things might never balance out the scale.

"You aren't a bad person," he says and the tone of his voice makes me know he was genuine.

~*~*~*