The Future of Camelot

Memories and Truth of a Different Time

Gwen and Lancelot were already asleep by the time Merlin and Morgana went home. Merlin was too tired to talk much on the walk back, but Morgana was quiet anyway. They observed that Gwen was in the bed which had been pushed against the wall, and Lancelot was on the air mattress against the other wall. Morgana pulled a long, white nightgown out of Gwen's closet and went into the bathroom without a word to Merlin. He had no clothes to change into, so he simply collapsed on the air mattress beside Lancelot.

As he drifted to sleep, he could sense Morgana walk next to him over to the bed. His last thought before he went to sleep was, She could be loud and obnoxious, but instead she is quiet. Why would she do that? He was too tired to respond to this question with his waking mind, but the thought may have influenced his dream.

0O0O0O0

It was the Battle of Camlann. Merlin stood on the top of the cliffs, looking down on the battling armies. He could see Arthur cutting down man after man, but not the Saxons. He was killing dozens of Druids, then his citizens.

"Arthur, stop!" Merlin tried to shout, but no sound came out of his mouth. His feet were fastened to the rocks, and no magic came from his body.

"It's no use," said Morgana, who had appeared beside him. She didn't look triumphant, but rather as worried as he felt. "He won't stop. He kills our kind. Look, there. His friend, slaughtered."

She gestured towards where Arthur stood over Mordred, Excalibur embedded deep inside Mordred's chest. But this Arthur had no wound. He continued to fight his way through legions of magic-users.

"No! This isn't right. This isn't how it happened," Merlin tried to say. Morgana heard him.

"This is what happened. These are the people he killed," she said.

"That can't be true," breathed Merlin. His voice let out but a small noise, and he knew that Arthur couldn't hear him if Merlin shouted again.

"It is. He was responsible for the deaths of all of these people," Morgana said, gesturing towards the hundreds that lay dead.

"Not him," said Merlin. "Uther."

"But who carried out Uther's orders!" cried Morgana. "Merlin, we're on the same side. We are magic itself. You may be content to watch Arthur do as he will to our kin and not fight to be heard, but I'm not. We should be working together, not battling each other."

"Arthur!" shouted Merlin again, but no sound came out.

"Don't you see, Emrys? He will never hear you."

"That's not true," cried Merlin. It can't be true. "He listened when I said - "

"When you said that there was no place for magic in Camelot. You said that so Mordred would die. You wanted Mordred to die because you were told that he would kill Arthur. Well, Merlin, let me tell you something you really don't want to hear."

"No," said Merlin, having an idea of what she was going to say. The thought had occurred to him many times and he had always pushed it aside, unable to face the truth. Morgana seemed sad.

"He killed Arthur because you feared that he would." Her face was not unkind. It was full of pity. "You didn't tell me about my magic because you were warned that my magic would bring destruction to Camelot, but when I sought magic for myself, and didn't know of yours, was when I realized how unfairly Camelot treats its people.

"I fight not against Arthur, but against tyranny. I fight for my freedom and the freedom of all like me. And like you, Merlin."

"Arthur isn't a tyrant!" protested Merlin. "He isn't perfect, but . . . it was his destiny to unite Albion, and he did. After he died, Gwen legalized magic."

"Calm yourself," she soothed. "These lives are already gone. They can not be saved."

"Then why show me?" asked Merlin. He felt weaker than he ever had, even when his magic had been taken.

"Because you must understand me, Merlin. You must know that my fight was for the good of the people, not the destruction of my brother. I loved Arthur, and I know you did too. None of this was about him. It is about - "

Merlin never did find out what Morgana wished to tell him, for Lancelot kicked him savagely. He was sleeping fitfully, and Merlin had to roll off the low mattress to avoid a flying fist.

"Lancelot," he whispered. The other man continued thrashing. Merlin dodged the flying limbs to place his hands on Lancelot's shoulders, and let a sleeping spell flow through him. Lancelot quieted immediately, but Merlin couldn't go back to sleep. As quietly as he could, he went into the kitchen and started the kettle. While he waited, he contemplated his dream.

Could everything dream-Morgana had said be true? Arthur hadn't been a tyrant, had he? No, of course not. He simply made bad decisions concerning the treatment of magic, and some of it was Merlin's fault. He had failed to cure Uther, and he had directly said that magic should remain illegal.

It was his fault. Those lives... many of them were Merlin's fault. He had come to this conclusion many times over the years, but having Morgana tell him was new. He had blamed Morgana ever since everything happened, but now he was reconsidering. Although the Morgana had been in his head, everything she said had been true. Maybe she didn't deserve his hatred; maybe she deserved his forgiveness.

0O0O0O0

Gwen rolled to her other side and into some unexpected form. Her eyes flashed open and found Morgana curled up facing her, fast asleep. Her face was so peaceful that Gwen remembered her oldest friend, and, for most of her life, her closest friend. It was indeed true that Gwen hadn't had a confidant as close as Morgana after she left.

She had told Gaius about Morgana's magic. Although Gaius was the person she trusted with this information, she always felt bad for revealing it. She had betrayed Morgana countless times, and yet Morgana had still wished for her to be a friend, even if that friend had no free will.

She didn't remember the time under Morgana's enchantment very well, but she remembered feeling safe. It was a dark, cold place, until Morgana rescued her from it. She knew that the lonely place was Morgana's fault, but she also knew why Morgana had put her in it.

During the enchantment, she had known Morgana's thoughts and feelings, because she shared them. The primary thought in her head was loneliness. It was so overwhelming when Gwen recalled it, but she knew that having Morgana, and Morgana having her, had expelled that loneliness. What Morgana had felt when Arthur had broken the spell, Gwen couldn't imagine.