The Love (Dis)connection

Chapter 7

“So why did you insist on bringing me home?”

“Did you have a good time?” Jack asked as he drove steadily. My house was only fifteen minutes away, while he lived all the way in Parañaque.

“Aurelia, I hope you won’t get mad. I feel like things haven’t been the same between us for quite some time. But I promise nothing’s going to change. We’re still going to hang out.”

My heart thundered. I had a bad feeling about this. “What’s up?” 

“Aurelia...Eula is now my girlfriend. We became official earlier!” He couldn’t quite keep the excitement out of his voice.

I wanted so badly to be happy for him; to be the good best friend; to be as supportive with him as he was with me. But I couldn’t. Oh God, I couldn’t. “Let me out.” 

“What? It’s raining cats and dogs!”

“I’m going to barf,” I said quickly. I felt so stifled inside his Camry. I had to get out. 

For some reason, he had a doggie bag in his glove compartment. “Here, use this. Don’t worry about the smell.”

“No! Let me out!” 

“It’s raining!”

“I don't fucking care! Let. Me. Out!” I slapped the door handle in frustration. 

He finally stopped and unlocked the car. Maybe he was afraid I was going to start ruining the interior. I got out and started walking towards my house. Thankfully, we were just a couple of blocks away.

Of all the unlucky times I had to leave my umbrella at home. The rain was so strong, so I didn’t hear his car door slam, and him running to keep up with me. 

“Aurelia, what are you doing? I thought you wanted to barf? Get back in the car.”

“No. I want to walk.” 

“Please, Aurelia. I’ll drive you home. You’re going to get sick.”

“No.” 

He grabbed my hand to stop me from walking then he stood in front of me. “Tell me what’s wrong. Why have you been acting so strange all this time? Did I do something wrong? Please, tell me.”

“I love you, okay? I have loved you for the longest time!” I screamed. The rain was pouring hard around us, but we both didn’t seem to care.

He let go of me. “What? No. No, you don’t,” he denied while shaking his head.

I stomped my foot in frustration. “Yes, I do, you blind, unfeeling man!” 

He ran his fingers through his slightly wet hair, rain drops glistening off his eye lashes. “Is that why you’re angry with me? Because you love me and I don’t feel the same way?”

Well, that was a good confirmation as any about his feelings—or rather, the lack of it—for me. 

I didn’t answer. The tears started pouring, mingling with the raindrops on my face.

“Ah shit.”

I didn’t answer, just looked at him, hoping for anything, something.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. But I...you’re my best friend, Aurelia. You’re one of the people who keep me steady, and you are very special to me. I will always be the guy you can call at any time and fetch you wherever, but I...I just don't feel the same way. You’re so smart, Aurelia, so wise and so kind, and maybe one day you will someday meet that one guy who will know what a treasure he has when you fall in love with him. I’m sorry. I wish I could wipe your tears away, take the hurt out of your life. But Aurelia, I have never expected and wanted us to be anything more than that. And I actually thought you felt the same way.” 

Despite the pain, despite my tears, I leaned forward and cried on his chest. I cried out all my frustrations, all the longing, all the pain stored up inside over the past two years. I would have felt embarrassed if it was any other man, but it was Jack, and he’s seen me through worse. He hesitated then he held me with both arms.

“Let me take you home.” He released me as soon as I stepped away. 

“No,” I shook my head. “I need to be alone.”

“It’s pouring too hard. You’re going to get sick. Please, Aurelia.” 

“No. No, Jack.” My tone brooked no room for discussion. I know it was crazy, but at that time, I didn’t care. For some reason, when your heart breaks, you become immune to physical pain, and that emotional wrench is all that matters. And heartbreak makes us do stupid things.

He put both hands on his hips, frustration coming off him in waves. 

“I’m going to be okay. I’ll walk this off, and when I get home, I’ll take a nice long bath in the tub, drink lots of water, take Vitamin C. And the next time I see you, we’ll be okay.” I struggled to get the next words out. “Because we’re best friends.”

He hung his head as I walked away. He knew when it was time to insist and when it was time to let me be. And this time, it was time to let me walk in the rain. 

I wish I could say this was the part where a handsome young man came along while I was walking in the rain, and he gave me a ride home, and even though I looked like a drowned rat, he never forgot me. And he comes back for me at home, and he turns out to be the love of my life, and we get married and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, my life isn’t a movie, and this is no fairy tale. And real life doesn’t always happen that way. So no handsome young man in a very nice car, no knight-in-shining armor saved me. It was just me, walking the three blocks to my house in the pouring rain. And I spent the next five days in the hospital because of a high fever.

There you have it: I lost my best guy friend, and I had a very high fever that made even my mother panic and bring me to the hospital. Mia visited me; even Dante visited me. My parents started wondering aloud why Jack hasn’t been to the hospital, when usually he would be one of the first ones, with balloons and pizza in hand, but I burst out into tears, and they didn’t brought him up again. That and because I couldn’t breathe through the snot whenever I started crying.