Forever 21

1 | Dying to Live

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." ~ Henry David Thoreau

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Come on, Cam! Live a little!"

I looked up at my roommate, quickly placing my pencil in my textbook so I wouldn't accidentally lose my place. She stood in front of our coffee table where all the rest of my books were sprawled out and ready for use, her moss colored eyes narrowed and her hands obstinately balled into fists at her hips.

"You said this year would be different!" She persisted, "You said this year would be the year where you put yourself out there."

"I know what I said..." I grumbled.

"Then were you lying?"

I watched as she batted at the stray hairs that had escaped from her simple but elegant French braid to fall in her face. Her hair fit her personality perfectly. It was a deep and vibrant red, the color of all things passionate. I chuckled to myself. Her temper could definitely be classified as a type of passion.

"Well, not on purpose..."

"Camille Loraine Thoreau! You are going to the Halloween party if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming bloody murder!"

"Whatever happened to the birthday girl getting her way?" I sighed. It was my birthday, my 21st to be exact. I knew I should go out, if only to fully experience the first moments of the last milestone in my life before the highly anticipated, always underrated menopause. My enthusiasm to experience life brought a small, mirthless smile to my face. Truthfully, there was no reason for me to be bitter about life passing me by; I had no one to blame other than myself but knowing this didn’t change the way I felt.

"You wished to be more outgoing this year and to maybe, just maybe, have your first anything, and I have taken it upon myself to be your self-appointed faerie godmother. Forget the books and the studying for one night and live! Besides, just because we're in the nursing program doesn't mean we can't have any fun."

I almost said that was exactly what it meant, but got sidetracked when she tossed an extravagantly wrapped box on top of my books. The wrapper was an opalescent myriad of colors and stared, slack jawed, mesmerized by its beauty.

"Well what are you waiting for?” She prompted, “Open it!"

I looked up at her again, another small smile playing on my lips, this time because I was genuinely thrilled. Ivy had the patience of five year old on Christmas Eve. Her flawlessly beautiful face was alight with excitement as she bit her lip in anticipation. Ever so carefully, I untied the rainbow ribbon and set to the task of lifting the tape in a way that would preserve the wrapper's beauty.

"Oh for the love of-" Ivy reached down, tore part of the paper, purposely ruining its perfection. Giving her puppy eyes, I pouted a little.

"Stop pouting Cam! The wrapper isn't the present you dolt, what's underneath is. If you want more of the wrapper I'll give you a roll!"

Her impatience made me grin and she rolled her eyes in response. We both knew she would unwrap my present for me if I didn't hurry, so I tore through the rest and opened the white paper box. I stared at the contents for a while, awed by her consideration. A classy, gray sweater dress lay folded in the box with two fake oversized incisors.