Orange Bag

"Kase. Kase, you gotta wake up."

God, my sister can be so annoying.

"Oh My Gosh. Kase, wake uppppp."

My sister's still in that phase of saying 'gosh' instead of 'God'. I know it's bad for little kids to swear, but saying 'Oh My Gosh' makes you sound like an aunt. 

"Kase! Seriously! We have to find something right now!"

That got me out of bed.

"Jesus Christ. What is it, Jean?"

"Okay, one: don't take the Lord's name in vain. And two: Mum lost her favorite expensive bag. I don't really care except she's paying me fifty bucks to find it. She says that's only a teeny-tiny percent of what it actually cost, so. Yeah. Do you want to join me?"

"Will you split the money in half?"

I can see her thinking.

"Can your half be twenty and my half be thirty?"

"No way! Twenty-five or I'm not helping you."

"How about you have twenty-four and I have twenty-six?"

I shrug. It doesn't really make much difference.

"Sure."

...

"Have you looked in the lounge?" Jean asks me.

"Yes, I have. Everywhere. In. The. Lounge."

"Behind the TV?"

"Yes."

"Inside the couch?"

"Yes."

"I've looked everywhere in Mum and Dad's bedroom. Mum said it's good that you're helping, but I have to split it fairly."

I think.

"What about the garden?"

"That's silly."

"The bathroom?"

"Fine. Let's look together this time."

"Okay."

...

"Joan?"

"Yeah?"

"Did Mum say anything about what it looked like?"

"Bright orange. Leather. Some thing called Prada."

"Cool. I think we've looked everywhere here... this is gonna sound crazy, but I think it's in the oven."

"It's not. I looked in the kitchen before I woke you up, and I looked in the oven just to be sure."

"Okay."

...

Oh My God.

I think we've looked EVERYWHERE in this house and we still haven't found the bag.

We even looked in our own rooms, which was hard for me because there's mountains of stuff in my room, and easy for her because her room is always super neat and tidy, except for the fact that she puts her spelling words up on the pinboard and sometimes never takes them down, even if they're weeks old. I wonder if she ever goes over them. It sounds like something she would do, to be honest. 

I bet it's under my bed. I know I said I've checked all over my room, but I didn't check under my bed. I didn't think it would be under my bed.

Nope. It's not under my-