CHAPTER 24
JOYCE POV
On our second week here in Palawan, we held a bonfire as some sort of a bonding activity. While the guys were busy gathering more wood, us girls were already seated around the bonfire.
Mr. Santos: I purposely let the guys gather wood so that you girls will have this chance to bond among yourselves first. Siyempre, alam ko naman na may mga “girl talk” kayo na hindi pwede marinig ng mga guys diba?
Lexi: Galing mo talaga sir!
Mr. Santos: Kaya lang, no choice kayo ha? I have to stay here with you. But don’t worry, whatever will be said here will stay here. Scout’s honor.
Lexi: Ok lang yun sir, no problem.
Mr. Santos: Ok so, who wants to start first? You can open up about anything.
So my classmates started opening up about themselves. Most of them talked about family stuffs and of course, relationships. I just listened to them. It’s funny how each of us have different perceptions when it comes to love. No one is neither right nor wrong.
Mr. Santos: Joyce, ang tahimik mo. Do you want to share something with the group?
I’m not the type of person who wants to broadcast my feelings to everyone. I’d rather keep it to myself or share it with people who are super close to me.
Joyce: Wala po. My life is plain boring as it is.
Then someone said..”Hindi kaya!” ”May lovelife yan sir!” “Kwento na about sa lovelife!”
Mr. Santos: O, sabi ng classmates mo may ikukwento ka daw. Tungkol nga ba sa lovelife to? Do you have one now?
Lexi: Ikaw sir ha, chumochorva ka na din ha! Haha! Pero I like it! Sis, sagot na!
Joyce: Wala po. Wala po talaga.
At first, the mood was light and trivial, tuksuhan lang. Everybody was talking about their own crushes and infatuations.
Mr. Santos: O sige, this is a question for all of you. Have you ever been in love?
Then the mood shifted and suddenly became a little more sentimental and serious.
Mr. Santos: Joyce?
Joyce: Sir?
Mr. Santos: You can tell us, you know. You don’t even have to mention his name if you don’t feel like saying it.
After a moment’s hesitation, I answered,
Joyce: Yes. I have been in love.
Mr. Santos: What happened?
Do I really want to talk about this?
Mr. Santos: Alam mo Joyce, sometimes it helps to just talk about it. It’s cathartic, the same way that crying is.
Joyce: Kasi po…I don’t know. I guess it was one-sided. He…didn’t feel the same way…about me.
Then I found myself opening about how I feel.
Joyce: To care so much about someone…to love someone so much that you allow your world to revolve around him. Ang hirap pala no? Lalo na kapag ikaw din yung masasaktan sa bandang huli. But all of these is a choice. It’s a decision...a commitment.. It’s not something that we are forced to do. And it’s not something that we do for something in return. But no matter how selfless your intentions are, a part of you still wishes that your feelings be reciprocated.
