CHAPTER 8
JOYCE POV
Our relationship started to change after that. Hindi na masyado masungit si Kris…well masungit pa din pero he knows when to stop and when to say sorry. Hindi na din palagi galit ang mood niya unlike before.
One time on our teaching session,
Kris: Yun kaya ang sabi mo last week.
Joyce: Hindi, mali yang sagot mo. Hindi kasi yan ang tamang analysis eh. Tingnan mo to…
Bigla siya tumahimik.
Joyce: What?
Kris: Ano sabi mo? Tingnan?
Oh no! Wrong choice of word! Na-offend ko na naman ata siya!
Joyce: Oh no! Sorry…sorry Kris. I really didn’t mean anything by it. Nakalimutan ko.
Tumahimik siya ulit. Oh my God, Joyce! Talk about your stupid comment!
Joyce: Kris, I’m really sorry. Please, wag ka magalit sa akin. Please naman oh.
He still isn’t speaking. Oh no, don’t tell me back to square one na naman kami?
Joyce: Do you want me to leave muna? If you want me to leave, sabihin mo lang. Aalis muna ako para lumamig muna ang ulo mo. Sorry talaga.
I was about to stand up and leave when I felt him reached for my hand.
Kris: Ang arte mo. Umupo ka na nga.
Joyce: Hindi ka galit sa akin?
Kris : Hindi. Umupo ka na.
Joyce : Promise? Sorry talaga. That was really careless of me. I prom…
Kris: Joyce…ang daldal mo. Tama na.
Joyce: Ok, I’ll stop. Haay, I’m so happy. Buti na lang hindi ka galit. Akala ko....
Then he asked in a serious voice,
Kris : Joyce, why are you so worried kung galit ako sa iyo or hindi? Eh ano naman kung magalit ako diba ? I mean, at least you now have an excuse para mag-quit sa pagtuturo mo sa akin diba?
Joyce: Ano ba sinasabi mo?
Kris: Joyce, admit it. I’m not the easiest person to deal with. Grabe ang mood swings ko ever since the accident. Ang sungit ko sa iyo. Lagi kita inaaway. One time, nasigawan pa kita. So you have all the RIGHT reasons to leave.
Joyce: Do…you want me to…leave? Is that what you’re saying? Yun ba ang gusto mong mangyari?
Kris: No! Of course not! I’m just trying to figure you out. Bakit mo ba ako pinagtiya-tiyagaan?
KRIS POV
I held my breath as I was waiting for her answer. Please don’t tell me that it’s about the money. Please don’t tell me na naaawa ka lang sa akin.
Joyce: You want me to tell you the truth?
I nodded my head. I heard her take a deep breath.
Joyce: Honestly, I don’t know. I also ask myself that question everytime na sinusungitan mo ko eh. Until now, I still don’t know why I keep on coming back.
I was a bit disappointed with her answer. Wala lang, I think I just wanted to hear her say na she’s staying on because she…likes me…even just a little. But I couldn’t blame her. I’m not easy to like, that I know. I'm not the world's MOST likable person.
Kris: Fair enough. Tara, tuloy na natin yung module.
I was prepared to leave my question hanging at that. But then,
Joyce: Wait…di pa ko tapos.
Kris: May sasabihin ka pa?
Joyce: Yes. Pero promise mo hindi ka tatawa sa mga sasabihin ko ha?
Kris: Ok, sige. Shoot.
Joyce: Well, I don’t know why I feel compelled to help you. The first time I saw you, I felt this connection with you. You might think that it's weird pero ganun eh. Alam mo yung feeling na I know, one way or another, you are going to be a part of my life, whether it’s good or bad? That's how I felt from the start. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted to be your friend. I wanted to be part of your struggle to get past this. I wanted to get to know who you were before all this happened…who you really are. Feeling ko kasi ibang tao ka before this accident eh. That all of these is just a mask...parang self-preservation...defense mechanism mo.
Kris: What if ganito talaga ang ugali ko?
Joyce: Hindi ako naniniwala.
Kris: What if I couldn’t get back to who I was before?
I was surprised by my question. It held a much deeper meaning than what I had intended. But I was more surprised with her answer. She simply said,
Joyce: Then I’ll still stay with you, no matter what.
She was silent after this. I felt na nagulat din siya sa sagot niya. I was struck by the sincerity and the honesty of her answer. I found myself so happy at the thought that she’s willing to stay with me kahit ano ang mangyari.
JOYCE POV
Oh no! Masyado na yata ako maraming nasabi. Have I given away myself with my comments? For the longest time, I’ve been trying to rationalize why I’m doing this for Kris. Ang daming reasons...ang daming justifications. But it all leads to one thing…that I’m beginning to like him…as in LIKE him…inspite of and despite of. What if he realizes this? What if he finds out na nagkakagusto na ako sa kanya? Will he accept me? Will he push me away?
Kris: Oh, bat bigla ka tumahimik?
Joyce: Wala. Wala lang. Ikaw kasi eh, ang dami mong tanong.
Kris: Sabi ko nga. Haha. Kulit mo! Bilis na, turo mo na sa akin yung tamang sagot.
I saw him smile as he pulled my hair a little.
Joyce: Sabi ko nga. Game na.
Buti na lang hindi siya nagalit. I don't want us to go back to where we were before. We're already building on a friendship. It is something that is becoming very meaningful to me day by day. I don't want to lose it…I don’t want to lose him…
