A Thousand Miles Away From You

*Avenged Sevenfold* Chapter 1

***

"Why would you say that?" Jimmy asked with eyes full of hurt. I bit my lip as tears gathered in my eyes.. My heart was going a million miles an hour as it broke. why had I said he should stay away forever? He turned away and climbed on the tour bus following the others.. he was really leaving..

"Jimmy.. I didn't mean that!" I said pleading as he closed the door behind him not meeting my eyes. Before I could speak again the bus was driving off. The girls were in there own pain so no one noticed me as I ran down the street. Tears blurred my vision and just as I made it to the corner a car sped past honking loudly. I fell to the ground in a heap crying my eyes out.. it seemed like for ever before I hear Linds softly pleading with me to get up. Her hands were tugging on my arm but i couldn't move. I was frozen in pain and there was nothing that could stop it.. NOTHING. 

***

::two months later::

I wiped at my eyes as I listened to 40 days by Blessthefall on my Ipod. The lyrics fitting how I felt perfectly.. I couldn't miss him anymore than I did right now and god knew how long it would be before we could be together again. I looked at Jimmy's picture feeling sad and a little silly.. he probably didn't even mind being a thousand miles away from me. that thought made tears slip down my cheeks. "What's wrong Tiff?" Linds asked from across the table where she sat eating a bowl of cereal and looking very happy. 

"You know what's wrong Linds. I miss Jimmy." I said in a watery voice. She sighed and I crossed my arms. "Well sorry I'm not happily married and pregnant like you." I said defensively, I felt bad at the hurt look she gave me. But damn it she knew how hard me and Jimmy were trying to get pregnant.  

"Hey, you can't blame me for being happy. I married Johnny because we're in love, ugh! don't you think I miss them too? Yes it's hard damn it, they're like a thousand miles away touring but who are we to stop them? They're Avenged Sevenfold, everyone loves them." She took a bite of cereal calming down a bit. "It would be wrong to stop them from living their dreams." Her voice was a hurt whisper, her eyes reflecting the pain she was just letting me see.

"I'm sorry.. it's just.. Jimmy and I had a fight before they left. What if he finds someone else while they are gone.. what if.." I shook my head fighting the doubts. Jimmy would never cheat on me.. but he wanted a baby so bad and i couldn't give him one. tears warmly trailed down my cheeks as my voice broke. "he leaves me.." 

"Hey girls! Want to come shopping with us?" Marie asked popping her head around the corner I wonder how she feels with Matt being so far away? She's never said anything but sometimes she just looked so.. lost.. she took a look at me and bit her lip. "What's wrong babe?" Her eyes let me know she already knew.. we'd talked this out last night but she just listened while i spilled everything.. even the bottle JD i chugged. 

Wednesday walked in laughing with Jenny behind her they were all three dressed to go and here i was sitting in my purple plaid pajama pants and black Avenged Sevenfold shirt with purple graphics. I sighed with a shake of my head. "I'm going to bed." I said shoving back from the table and leaving my bowl of cereal untouched as I walked to the doorway.

"We're going." Linds said her eyes looking at me pointedly. "Get ready." I nodded reluctantly and ran upstairs to my bedroom which I shared with Jimmy when they weren't touring. It was a six bedroom house leaving one spare room for guests. I walked passed Linds and Johnny's room on the left, then, Wednesday's and Zacky's room was on the right. Marie and Matt's room was next to Lindsay's leaving mine and Jimmy's room next to Wednesday's. Jenny and Brian had the downstairs bedroom next to the guest room, Brain claimed he didn't like all the stairs but we all knew he wanted privacy to be with Jenny.   

I quickly tossed on a pair of jeans and ran a brush through my hair before pulling it up into a hair bow. I knew i was scaring the girls so i tried to paste a smile on my mouth. What was the point of dressing up if Jimmy wasn't here? I thought grabbing my purse and running back down stairs. Linds took one look at me and shook her head before we all walked out to her silver ford escape. The girls got in the back Linds drove and I sat up front with her. The drive to the mall took forever but maybe that was because I really didn't want to be there. 

We went to several stores but I wasn't really paying much attention until we stepped in hot topic were I saw Avenged Sevenfold merch and a band poster that made me smile Jimmy looked so happy.. why couldn't I just trust him? It had been forever since I'd heard his voice and it was killing me. He wouldn't accept my apologizes or my phone calls. Matt or Syn would usually call and tell me Jimmy was fine and not to worry but it hurt that he cut me off completely. 

I closed my eyes as a wave a pain shook me. I love you Jimmy and I miss you. I thought as I cried softly.

______________

Matt's POV

I watched Jimmy down another beer as he stumbled onto the bunks in the back of the bus. Beer spilled all over him but he didn't even blink. "Why doesn't she love me Matt?" He asked in a drunken whisper. I sat beside him patting his back.

"She loves you a lot buddy, you just refuse to see it. She calls twice or more a day and yet you never take her calls and she told me how she misses you but you won't answer your damn phone. She's making an effort and you just won't budge. Listen people get hurt so they say things that they don't mean." I said as he glared at me.

"Shut up Matt!" He said kicking at me. I growled in frustration.

"Did you know her dad left her when she was just twelve years old? He blamed her for killing her mother when she was being born. She has a fear of people leaving her. Why the hell do you think she hates being alone?" I asked watching his eyes soften. 

His eyes stared blankly at the wall as realization finally hit him. "Go away Matt. NOW." I watched him grab his phone before leaving him alone on the bunks.

__________

I sighed as we climbed back in the escape. "That was fun." Linds said trying to convince me but I just shrugged. I looked out the window as we drove home.. home.. a place that was empty without Jimmy. I shook the urge to cry as I heard my phone start ringing. Call me a crazy romantic but I set my ringtone to Til Death Do Us Part by White Lion. 

I looked at the number and felt a bolt of hope shock the hell out of me. My heart was racing as I answered it. "I miss you baby." Was all he said and it was enough.. it was the first time I'd heard his voice in months..it was beautiful.