The Letter

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My first order of business was to take a shower. Once that was settled, I went directly to my office. There, on my desk, was what I had been working on centuries ago; Before the attack. I picked up the thick packet of paper and resumed the tedious task of dissolving the castes.
This had been America's dream, and it was her passion that had caused me to pursue it. It would take time, but I was determined to go through with it.
For hours I sat, my pen dragging across the paper when it abruptly ran out of ink. I reached to replace it and my eye caught on something else. A letter.
Well actually there were about a hundred letters sitting on and around my desk, but this one in particular had my name written across it in lovely script.

Dear Maxon,
I'm so sorry about everything that happened. You lost so much, in so little time. I wish I could undo everything. Like I said before, I hate seeing you in pain. The day when I said that seems like forever ago now... I feel as if I've aged ten years in only a week. I see things more clearly now. I never should have agreed to marry you. I love you, but you love America. No matter what you try to tell yourself, you love her. I know you care about me, but not in the same way. I'm moving on Maxon. It's time to take matters into your own hands now. Follow your heart and be happy.
You will be a fantastic King.
Your friend and loyal subject,
Kriss

A number of emotions flooded through me.
The first was relief, because I couldn't imagine marrying anyone other than America. Then guilt about being relieved. Then sadness, disappointment, happiness, and more mixed emotions for unidentifiable reasons. Overall, I just felt conflicted.
As a king, I needed to provide an heir, which meant I would have to marry at some point.
As a man, I knew I couldn't marry anyone that I didn't truly love, and I was certain I would never love again. I didn't want to. Anyone I'd ever loved had suffered. My family. My friends.
America.
Even thinking her name mad me fall into a bottomless pit of despair.
Torturing myself with what could have been would get me nowhere though, so I continued on working.
I didn't put my heart in it.
I didn't have one to give.

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