From the very first moment they met there had been something about him, something that drew her to him.
But fate got in the way.
Be selfish or selfless.
She chose selfless.
Always selfless.
To get hurt even if she knew her feelings for him existed.
To deny herself happiness in order for everyone else to be happy.In silence she watched what could have been in her life ... it should have been her... if only… instead, she watched from afar and hurt from afar ...
"Hey, are you okay? You’ve been awfully quiet." He asked, bringing her back from her reverie.
She looked away, brushing the strands of hair the wind blew into her eyes. "Do you know how it feels to want something so much that it hurts?"
"What are you talking about?” He frowned.
Sighing, she continued. “Everyday, I wake up knowing that I can't have what I want... knowing that as much as I try, I will have my heart broken over and over again because I chose to be selfless.”
“What?"
"What if I want to be selfish this time? Sometimes it's okay to be selfish, right?"
“I don’t understand…”
“I love you,” she said with her eyes closed, breath held, fingers crossed and heart on her sleeve.
She had taken a risk and put her heart on the line. She was being selfish but at least she was doing something she wanted, no, needed to do. And if he told her he didn’t feel the same way... at least... it would be the last time he would break her heart.
She nervously looked at him and found him motionless, obviously shocked with her confession. She waited for what seemed to be forever for any kind of reaction from him but … nothing. And for her, his silence said it all. “I'm sorry ..." she said shamefully as she heard the tiny echo of her heart breaking. “I thought if I told you how I felt, you would..."
He was quiet, staring into space.
“I thought that if you knew ...” she prattled on, wariness forgotten. "I’m sorry ... I shouldn’t have said anything now..."
"Stop," he finally decided to speak as he gently placed his hand on her shoulders.
"What?" She jumped at his touch.
"Would you shut up a minute and listen to me!” It was more of a command.
She fell into silence but did not dare look up at him.
"Look at me," he said softly.
"No," she shook her head as her whole body began to tremble.
“Please…”
Her eyes instantly closed the moment she felt his hand cup her face. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t breathe.
“Open your eyes and look at me,” this time his voice was soft … almost as if caressing her.
Slowly, gently, nervously, she opened her eyes and met his gaze as a sigh immediately escaped her lips. She had always loved his eyes.
"Listen ...”
This was it - the risk of her selfishness.
"It's okay." She wasn’t even sure how she managed to speak when all she could hear was the tiny echo of her heart breaking. "Don’t worry about it," she said, shaking her head, trying to snap out of her idiotic trance.
"Wait ...”
"Why?"
“I love you too.”
“Wha-at?"
Hallucination.
That was the only thing she could think of.
It must be hallucination.
“I love you too,” he repeated with a smile.
“I don't understand,” she mumbled, as she felt the tears fill her eyes once more.
Carefully, he pulled her closer, not letting go of her eyes until his lips finally touched hers.
Then she understood.
Finally.
/end
======================
END CREDITS:
*Selfish : Written by JC Chasez, Jolyon Skinner, Veit Renn. Sung by NSYNC.
*Cover Photo: My Binondo Girl | ABS-CBN
THANK YOU:
- Liz for the beta. Liz (again) & Cass for our daily routine (although I neglected you over the holidays) and for being my cheering squad :P
- Meeka because we wrote this. Miss you, chica.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Writen a few years back with this great lady I miss so much - Meeka.
Selfish © 2014 Meeka & Simplyjessie73
