Running Away From Everything I Knew

Chapter 4

By the time we got home, everyone was surrounding the T.V. it felt so strange living with three guys you know from college and who are your best friends. But what feels even stranger is the fact that Logan will now be sleeping in the same bed as me. Never in a million years would I have thought something like this would happen to me of all people. He was perfect and everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy, but I could never tell him the truth. Even though I like him as much as much as I do, I could never tell him the truth. Things between us would get very awkward and that’s something I don’t want to have happen.

Around 8:00pm, I decided to go to bed. I changed out of my jeans and t-shirt and into a pair of short shorts and an old t-shirt. Right when I was getting into bed and pulling the sheets back, Logan came into the room and stopped in the middle of the room looking, no staring, at me. He had a blank expression on his face and made my heart jump inside my chest. I thought for sure he was able to hear it beating as fast as it was, but I sighed in relief when he didn’t.

“Hi. I was planning on going to bed.” I finally said after breaking the silence between us. He finally looked up at me and smiled warmly which made my heart sink again. He always does this when I see him.

“Oh, ok. I’ll do my best not to wake you up when I go to bed.” He said with a smile that made me go weak at the knees.

“Ok, thanks. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Logan.”

“Goodnight, Mel.” He said and went into the bathroom. I laid down on the bed wrapping the covers around me and I felt so cold inside. I heard him open the bathroom door and left the room.

I suddenly felt everything around me crashing down on me. I felt the tears that I was holding in for so long finally escaping my eyes. I don’t know how long I was softly crying until I heard footsteps by the door. I quickly closed my eyes and stopped crying so no one would come in and notice that I was crying. I heard the door open and heard footsteps coming over to my side of the bed. The figure kneeled down and put their hand on my head. I opened my eyes and saw Logan’s face.

“Mel? Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I say as I whipped the remaining tears away from my eyes.

“You crying isn’t nothing, Mel. Come on, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I miss Jer. I’m worried about him, Lo. When is he coming? He promised he’d be here and he’d always be here for me. I don’t understand, Logan. Where the hell is he now?” I ask as tears fell down my face again as I cried again. Logan pulled me up and pulled me into a hug. Before I knew it, Logan was in the bed lying down next to me with his arms around my waist. I had my back facing him so I couldn’t look at him. I didn’t want him to see me like this. Hell, I didn’t want anyone to see me like this. The only person who ever has would be Jeremy.

“Things are going to be ok, Mel. Jeremy is going to come and find us soon. He wouldn’t want you worrying about him like this. You just need to relax and find something to keep your mind off of him and everything else that has happened.”

“Thanks, Logan. This means a lot to me. You have no idea how much I appreciate this and how much you mean to me right now.” I turn my body to face him and saw a look of sympathy in his eyes. I ignored the look in his eyes and fell asleep before he could say anything else to me. 

A few hours later I wake up to my usual nightmare of Jim. I sat up in bed and tried to get my breathing under control. Once I had my breathing under control, I walked downstairs to get a glass of water. The stove across the family room said it was 3:00am. I passed the family room as I entered the kitchen and jumped out of my skin when I saw Sam and Lee watching T.V.