"Ahoy!"
Alec stared at the telephone. Two thick black iron husks, connected with wire, it wasn't pretty. If anything, the device resembled a pair of swollen nunchucks. Nevertheless, Alec loved his phone, and rightfully so. It had many interesting qualities. It could transmit sound waves through metal, for one. It was simple to produce, and thus practical for commercial use. Most importantly, of course, it was the only one in the world.
It was talking.
Alec didn't believe in ghosts, or demons. He didn't deny their existence, but he was agnostic, a scientist. He couldn't form an opinion, having never seen any evidence either way. That is, perhaps, until today.
"Watson?" Crouching to the ground, he lowered his face to the mouthpiece.
"Who? Are you not..." There was a pause, and the sound of paper shuffling. Alec was surprised to hear such mundane sounds from the mysterious source, but presumably even spectres had to keep organised. If this was a haunting, if his phone had been possessed, it had probably been booked in advance. "...Captain Phillips?"
"Mr. Gray, then?" A note of desperation had crept into Alec's voice. If not his assistant, his rival's success provided the only hope for a sane explanation. "You got her to work!"
"No!" Another pause. "Listen, okay? There are nine billion people on this planet, in this year, alone. If we both just keep guessing, we'll be here all day. I'll start by telling you my name, and then you can tell me yours. I'm Rina, with AquestionAir, and I'd like a moment of your time to complete a short survey. "
"A questionnaire?"
"That's right; the airline. Now, are you not Captain Phillips?"
"No, my name is Bell. Alec Bell. What's an airline? Is that how you've contacted me?" He picked up his device and waved his hands around it. "No wires. Airline, I get it. A line through the air. You wanted to ask me questions about how well it's working?"
"I've got some questions about the airline, yes. I apologise for the mix up, Mr. Bell. We use random sampling for this survey, and that includes random digit dialling, meaning our sampling frame is virtually unlimited. Our database said that you were Captain Phillips, based on a previous call, but there must have been a mistake. If I update your information, will you complete the survey?"
"Yes, okay." Now thoroughly confused, Alec was excited to learn more about this new rival
"Excellent! Firstly, could you tell me how frequently you fly abroad? Is it closer to a) never, b) once every five years, c) once every two years, or d) every year?"
"Sorry, fly?"
"You know, in an airplane."
"Airplane?"
"Sorry, I thought I heard an unfamiliar accent. You should have told me this wasn't your first language! An airplane, or aeroplane, is our word for the vehicles which travel through the sky... you know, machines for heavier-than-air flight. Do you recognise what I'm talking about?"
"I can't say I do, no, but it sounds fascinating!"
"You haven't heard of..." More shuffling. "...the Wright Brothers? In 1903?"
"It's 1876, and I have no idea who you're talking about. Are you claiming that you can tell the future?"
"Mr. Bell, I'm in the future. We randomise respondents, I told you. When I picked up this phone, it can call any one of an almost infinite number of handsets through space and time. I'm sorry. I should probably have led with this."
Alec crouched in a stunned silence, his mind reeling with possibilities.
"It's funny, though." His caller carried on. "Our database only goes back to 1880, when the first telephone directory was made. We figured that, with odds of quadrillions to one that you'd be beyond those 23 years, it was safe to ask about planes. What are the odds, I wonder? I mean, there were only a few hundred handsets then, so for you to be even earlier... you must have bought one of the very first phones! No wonder you're missing from our database. I'll draw some more information from our other records, and then I'll block your number. You said you were an Alec?"
"Yes, but Alexander to some. The phone hits off, then?"
"It's a tremendous success, yes, but I shouldn't be telling you that. You'll have to forget what I've said, and tell nobody. If this information gets into the wrong hands... it could change history. Not that anyone will believe you, of course, so you're doing us both a favour in keeping this quiet. You were born March 3rd, 1847?"
"Correct. Okay, I promise I'll keep mum, but could you tell me exactly how this airline works? Just for academic interest, you see."
There was silence, apart from the distant sound of shuffling.
"Excuse me?" Alec raised his voice. "Are you still there?"
Silence.
"Ahoy? Is that what you say?"
Click.
