SALMONELLA: food poisoning usually originating from eating salmon which has been left out on the buffet table too long. Can you get Salmonella from Mortadella?)
SANATORIUM: a clean place with high ceilings and fresh mopped floors. A place for crazy sanitation workers, tired of “putting up with so much shit”.
SANTA CLAUS: a parental clause in a contract between child and parents that stipulates that Santa will only come if a child is good.
SATURDAY: the day of sitting. while sitting at a telescope Saturn was discovered on a Saturday.
SAVE: to rescue, to help those in trouble. Born again Christians are saved, the question though is from what? Synonymous with “having the truth” or righteousness. “God save our gracious queen” , we all sang. But if she was so gracious, why does/did she need saving?
SCAB: a strike breaker. They never, never picket.
SCARF: a neck wrap. Originally something which went around the neck to hide a scar. Frankenstein wore a very large one.
SCENE: what is seen. There are many seens on a movie screen.
SCENT: a smell. Something everyone has and sends out. The importance of scent has since been replaced by perfumes, deodorants and telephone numbers. (see NOSE)
SCHISM: forerunner and root word of the magical word "Shazaam", to separate and make disappear. Usually used in theological circles to explain the fact that people know longer believe in the same thing.
SCREEN: to review information and prohibit what is deemed unworthy. Why doesn't my T.V. screen, screen what my kids watch? Or does it? And isn't that too, a terrible thought.
SEE-SAW: Now I see you, now I don't (| saw you.)
SEMINAL: halfway to importance. Like semen.
SET: Why does the sun set? What does it set itself upon? Also, if it's fallen, how come after a number of hours it rises? What does it bounce off of?
SHIT: originates from the practice of putting the finger to one's lips and saying shhhhh, and then pointing again and whispering it. “be quiet (shhhhh), about it.”
SHEIK: 1) very stylish, exquisite. A sheik is sheik. 2) a condom. Named thus because the first one's made of lamb intestines were worn by Sheiks.
a SHOE lN: a likely candidate, a good fit.
SHOO: to push or send away. To kick at with the shoe so as to make go away.
SHOVEL: an instrument used to move earth or snow, to shove it.
SHOWER: to wash under a flow of water while naked. ln doing so youshow what is always hidden - you show er.
SHRIEK: to yell, exclaim. The first major shriek is said to be Archimedes' when he claimed to have discovered the principle behind the Archimedian screw
while relaxing in the bath – “Eureka!”.
SIDEBURNS: facial hair protruding down along the sides of the face. Named after the Scottish General, A.E. Burnside and his clan who wore prominent ones. So as not to confuse the person and the thing when pointing their finger, the word order was reversed.
YOU ARE READING
The Idiot's Dictionary
Non-Fiction"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone. "It means just what I choose it to mean - neither more or less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The question is," said Hu...
