Unauthorized (Luke Hemmings Fanfic)

Chapter four

We were at my house eating ice cream. Tomorrow is definitely gym day. Everybody thinks we're naturally flawless. No. We work our butts off to stay slim. Male or female, we wear pounds of makeup. We break out like any other teenagers. We don't eat before awards shows. We go on crazy diets to try and lose the ten pounds the camera adds. None of us are perfect.

We are just forced to be as close as possible.

Harry had just been telling me about his last diet, hot sauce and cantaloupe, for a week before the vma's. Before I was retelling the story of my ten hour day spent at the gym before the Brits.

Then curiosity overtook me. Why was Harry really here. I know he gave me all of that bull earlier, but there had to be more. I got more.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you here?"

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"Why don't you just tell me?"

"Fine!"

"And be honest."

"Honestly? I need to do something that isn't in my job description. I need to feel good about my self again too. I love people. I love to see them happy. You aren't happy. Not really. You're a better actress than you get credit for because if I never met you, I never would have suspected anything. Now that I have though, I don't know how you haven't broken yet. Everybody breaks. We've only been at it for three years and two of my band mates are close to rehab. You've been at this for five years, how the hell are you intact? I need to know. I need a friend to help me too. The best way anybody can help me is by letting me help them. I need a real use." Harry sighed and sunk back into the couch. 

Guilt was washing over me. He wanted to help and I had already lied. I don't have this under control. I don't cut sporadically or when too much pressure has built. There's always too much pressure and there's never anything to alleviate it. I only know one thing that comes close.

"Fuck!" Harry broke me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"We forgot about management earlier. They're gonna be pissed."

I got up and helped him off of the

couch.

"Let's go."

************

That was short... I'm sowwy :(

Please no hate or judgements over the subject matter.

I cut.

I hurt.

I feel you.

I don't want to but at the same time I do.

I don't know why I'm telling you

this. Bye.