Hamilton Trash 3: Triple the Hamilton

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USNAVI
Lights up on Washington Heights, up at the break of day
I wake up and I got this little punk I gotta chase away
Pop the grate at the crack of dawn, sing
While I wipe down the awning
Hey ya'll good morning

PIRAGUA GUY
Ice cold piragua! Parcha. China. Cherry. Strawberry. Just for today, I got mamey!

USNAVI
Oye, piraguero, como estas?

PIRAGUA GUY
Como siempre, Senor Usnavi.

USNAVI
I am Usnavi and you prob'ly never heard my name
Reports of my fame
Are greatly exaggerated
Exacerbated by the fact that my syntax
Is highly complicated cuz I emigrated from the single greatest little place in the Caribbean
Dominican Republic
I love it,
Jesus, I'm jealous of it
And beyond that,
Ever since my folks passed on,
I haven't gone back
Goddamn, I gotta get on that
(He sniffs the milk carton) Foh!
The milk has gone bad, hold up just a second
Why is everything in this fridge warm and tepid?
I better step it up and fight the heat
Cuz I'm not making any profit if the coffee isn't light and sweet!

ABUELA CLAUDIA
Ooo-ooo!

USNAVI
Abuela, my fridge broke. I've got cafe, but no con leche.

ABUELA CLAUDIA
Try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk.

USNAVI
Nice.

ABUELA CLAUDIA
Ay! Paciencia y fe!

USNAVI
That was Abuela, she's not really my abuela
But she practically raised me
This corner is her escuela
Now you're prob'ly thinkin
"I'm up on shit's creek
I never been north of 96th street"
Well you must take the A train
Even farther than Harlem
To norther Manhattan and maintain
Get off at 181st and take the escalator
I hope your writing this down I'm gonna test you later
I'm getting tested times are tough on this bodega
Two months ago somebody bought Ortega's
Our neighborhood started packin up and pickin up
And ever since the rents went up
It's gotten mad expensive
But we live with just enough

COMMUNITY
In the heights
I flip my lights and start my day
There are fights
(Girls) And endless debts
(Boys) And bills to pay
In the heights
I can't survive without cafe

USNAVI
I serve cafe

COMMUNITY
Cuz tonight seems like a million years away!
En Washington-

USNAVI
Next up to bat, the Rosarios
They run the cab company
They struggle in the barrio
See, their daughter Nina's off at college, tuition is mad steep
So they can't sleep
Everything they get is mad cheap

KEVIN
Good morning, Usnavi.

USNAVI
Pan caliente, cafe con leche

KEVIN
Put twenty dollars on today's lottery

CAMILA
One ticket, that's it

KEVIN
Hey, a man's gotta dream

CAMILA
Don't mind him, he's all excited
Cuz Nina just flew in at 3 AM last night

KEVIN
Don't look at me, this one's been cooking all week.

CAMILA
Usnavi, come over for dinner

KEVIN/CAMILA
There's plenty to eat

DANIELA
So then Yesenia walk in the room
She smells sex and cheap perfume
It smells like one of those trees that you hang from the rear view
It's true
She screams, "Who's in there with you, Julio?"
Grabs a bat and kicks in the door
He's in bed with Jose from the liquor store

CARLA/USNAVI
No me diga

USNAVI
Daniela and Carla from the salon.

DANIELA/CARLA
Thanks, Usnavi!