Fast Reads: Selected short stories, drabbles, and flash fiction

Advice for the Love Torn

Dear Ms. Fay,

I address myself to you because of your great renown in questions of courtship. Witness the hundreds of grateful testimonies written by warm bloods who found in your wisdom a solution to their Romantic problems. Perhaps you can advise me in a delicate matter.

I dance like a gentleman, possess excellent hair, and have been told by many ladies that my smouldering eyes have a certain animal magnetism. Although not averse to entertaining matrons, I am inevitably drawn to sweet young things. Alas, once I get them alone, I experience unspeakable urges.

The pinnacle of my suffering is inspired by a wan, raven-haired beauty from the State of Washington. Let us call her Ella. Of late, I feel compelled to stand in her bedroom and watch her sleep, but it's not enough. Her body glows in the moonlight and when she wakes, she looks up at me with eyes like limpid pools... What is to be done?

Sincerely,

Blood Aristocrat

Dear Aristocrat,

Beware turning into a dirty old man. The female in question is a child. Even if she were seventeen or eighteen, you should think long-term. Lust is fleeting but real relationships happen when you share common ground with the object of your affection. A much younger companion won't share the memories and culture you could find on dates with your contemporaries. Stop obsessing over a girl and seek out a woman who can fulfil your emotional and physical needs. Seek treatment if you can't break this obsession with juveniles, before you wind up in jail.

Sincerely,

Ms. Fay