Scars & Secrets.

"I can't even help it anymore, Eb." [09']

Ebony's POV:

With Daniel's lips on mine, my mind went into over-drive. My boss, the bi-polar man who at one point smothered me, and then started dating my secretary, then declares he has feelings for me- is kissing me, in his office, at this particular point in time. His office door was wide open so anyone could walk in and see, but the danger of it sent thrills rushing through my veins.

No, I'm not some sort of creepy danger-adrenaline junkie, but kissing Daniel Jefferson was something that definitely had my adrenaline pumping. He pushed his lips harder onto mine, and I gasped slightly, before letting out a small moan in lust. I wanted this man more than anyone, and it scared the living daylights out of me.

He's my boss for Christ's sake! I came up here to argue against him for all the misdeeds he's done, and he I arm, participating in intimate relations with him.

Oh dear Lord, Shaun.

Suddenly I yanked myself away from his grasp, stepping away from the sexy man. "Eb..." He said slowly, but I shook my head wildly, holding my hand up at him to shut him up. "I have a boyfriend- no, I have fiancee. Kissing you is wrong, I shouldn't have done it. Oh sweet Jesus." I cursed myself, touching my now slightly swollen lips. They tingled, knowing Daniel had wanted to kiss them with as passion as he could muster.  

"He's not right for you Ebony, God!" He shouted, and I hushed him, indicating to the wide-open office door. I didn't want people hearing all these personal issues, they'd be gossiping for weeks! "I love him, and he loves me." I cried, reaching the door frame. 

"You love someone who can abuse you?" He asked incredulously. "SHUT UP; YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM!" I screamed, before the tears poured down my face like Niagra Falls. He held his hands up in defense, and I furiously wiped my tears away. "You could do so much better." He whispered. "I don't want to." I shot back harshly, and he flinched.

"Fine." He replied sullenly, and I frowned in confusion. "What?" I asked, voicing this confusion, and he looked up at me with emotionless eyes. "I said: FINE." He barked, and I stepped back slightly in fear. Regret and guilt crossed his eyes, but he suddenly buried the emotions deep down. "That's it?" I asked, and he nodded once without even showing he cared. "You just give up, just like that?"

He stormed over to me and slammed his door, leaving me inside and pressed against the wooden exit, with him towering over me. "What do you want from me Ebony?! You complain when I fight for you, you complain when I don't. You can't have it both ways, it's pure selfish. What the hell is wrong with you?! For crying out loud!" He exclaimed, waving his hands frantically. 

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!" I wailed, as my tears poured pathetically down my face again. "He's been with me for so long, he's helped me through everything, I can't just turn my back on him!" Daniel slammed his hands either side of me, and pinned me up against the door with his chiseled body. "Does he want to love and carress you, care for you; like I do?" I gasped. "Love me?" I spoke feebly. "I'm falling for you Ebony; what do you expect? To be stuck in the limerance stage for all eternity?!" He spoke as is I were stupid, and I folded my arms. 

"He hurts you, manipulates you; and you're too scared to move on from anything different. Your family clearly hate him, but your dad is the only one who clearly shows it. Are you that dense to see? They have their suspicions that he's abusing you, but without evidential proof, they can't do anything to help you. You hide yourself with all these fancy clothes and a fake smile; and pretend everything is alright, but you know full well it isn't."

My bottom lip wobbled at his words, and his thumb brushed it, sending heat rushing in my cheeks. I looked down at the crown, and with one finger he pushed my chin back up, so I was looking deep into his ice-blue eyes. 

"I understand I'm damaged goods; with the death of my wife and child, and I understand that when I told you, you felt uncomfortable with it. When she died, you have to understand that I never thought I'd ever meet anyone as amazing as her, but you've proved me wrong Ebony." My heart raced.

"You're beautiful, smart, feisty, completely stubborn- you're the complete opposite of what my wife was, but I'm so heavily attracted to you, it scares me." I bit my lip, and he groaned slightly, watching it. "And you do stupidly cute things just like that." I immediately stopped biting my lip.

"I thought I was betraying my wife's memory by being so infatuated with you... But if she knew you, she'd have loved you. I can barely go a few minutes without you being on my mind. Everywhere I look something reminds me of you. Whenever I see blonde hair, I immediately picture you. Whenever I hear someone speak about your work or how you're a great friend, I feel like giving an input and telling them how I feel. I always try to slip your name in random conversation... I can't even help it anymore, Eb." He said almost vulnerably, and I felt my legs shaking.

"Daniel, I can't just up and leave him. He knows everything about me, he'll kill me. He'll hurt the people I love. I said yes to marrying him- I can't just turn around and suddenly call everything off." I looked into his eyes, and saw defeat. I'd worn him down to the brink of exasperation, and I was hurting myself for it. "Then you should go." He said meekly, stepping away. He turned his back to me and headed to his desk, before sitting down and going over paper-work.

I bowed my head and quickly escaped his office. I signed out of work, and got into my car. I revved the engine and freely let the tears fall, and sped home. Shaun would be waiting, most likely ready to punch his frustrations out on me, or to satisfy his lust cravings. I quietly opened the door, and shut it behind me, before a strange smell reached my nose. Suddenly I gasped; placing the smell.

Marijuana.

Shaun is smoking drugs in our home. 

I rounded the corner and saw him strung across the sofa, a joint perched between his lips. I grimaced, before dropping my bag to the floor. Shaun immediately sprung up at the noise, and saw me. "Babe, you're home early!" He suddenly exclaimed, and I crossed my arms. "What are you doing?" I asked with as much confidence and courage as I could muster. His eyes narrowed in my direction.

"Smoking weed, what does it look like?" 

"Why are you doing drugs, Shaun?" I whispered, and he growled menacingly. "You can't tell me what to do you stupid whore!" He screamed, lunging at me. I cried out as he tackled me down, pinning me beneath him. He started hitting in every vulnerable place, before finally he punched me in the face.

I screamed in agony, and after realising what he'd done, he jumped off of me and tried helping me up. "Eb! Ebony please I'm so-"

"SHUT UP!" I wailed, before running to the bathroom and locking the door. He pounded on the door as I bawled my eyes out, cradling my throbbing eye socket. I was surprised I hadn't been knocked out cold. 

My mind suddenly wandered to Daniel. 

He would never have done this to me. He wouldn't smoke weed or pin me to the ground to bash me senseless. He cherished me, or so he says, while Shaun kills me a little bit everyday. 

By God, was Shaun what I really wanted? Daniel had been so kind and protective, and I shot him down so easily; hurt him so easily to defend the man who would only abuse me for the rest of my days. Is that what I wanted for myself?

Oh shit.