Keeping up the Facade

3. At least that gave me a hope... a little hope.

"Thank God you've spilled it all out!" Rae shouted after telling her all. And if I said all, I mean I started from the beginning; from the point where I had started to like Bryan, to this moment.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Rae, I didn't tell you anything about this before. I'm not just ready… you probably know what I mean." I looked at her directly on her eyes. The moment I let her in and sit on my sofa, I already started telling her my story. Thank God, she listened attentively and shut her mouth while I'm in the middle of talking. We were sitted on my sofa, she's wearing a denim shorts and a black muscle tee while I'm in my pajama shorts which turned out like we're some English girls inside a dormitory. We didn't even have time to watch a movie anymore but still, the bowl full of popcorns a while ago was now empty.

"It's okay girl! I understand. At least I know you can trust me now" She added a wink. "… So, what do you think you'll do now?"

"I don't know, maybe… maybe give up?" I answered.

"You will?"

"I said, maybe."

"Wait, have you ever told him you like him?" She asked.

I shook my head, "But action speaks louder than words, right? I showed my feelings for him, Rae. I supported him, I'm always there for him, I'm the one who's always there whenever he's wasted, I'm the one who's at his side whenever he needs help, I'm always there whenever he feels broken… I was…" I couldn't even put the right words together now. My throat's starting to dry and tears were now rolling to my cheeks. Rae wrapped her arms around me and started to rub my back. I, was now feeling comfortable on her shoulders. At least, it felt like I did something right in my life, to have that shoulders to cry on. "… Why is it not always enough? Why?" I said in between my sobs.

Rae released her arms around me and held my shoulders, "Jamie, look and listen to me…" I nodded, looking like a little girl infront of her.

"You are as fool as Bryan." I heard her as she put every word an emphasis. I'm in my Oscar nominee drama, yet this girl is still in the middle of telling me her annoying ideas and advices. 

Cherish those people, they're called true friends.

Instead of getting pissed or slapping her cheek instead, I laughed. I picked the nearest cushion beside me and throw it at her. She quickly caught it anyway.

Athletes, I tell you.

She stood up and went to a cabinet near the kitchen. She came back with a box in her hand. "Here's the tissue, you little crying kid."

"Thanks."

I'm wiping my tears and my wasted face when Rae started talking.

"You told me you tried a lot of things already just to show what you felt about Bryan. Starting from…what? Freshmen to now? It was truly a great effort Jamie. But, I think it's not yet time to give up after what happened to you and Bryan and his confessions about that Krista girl.…"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying that you and Bryan are both fool. I know how you wish Bryan not to be blind. I know how you wish Bryan to be able to see you and your feelings clearly. But then, Jamie, you, yourself is inhide. You always put a mask on, you always keep up a facade, you're always denial, you're lying whenever he ask you if you're okay… "

"So, it's my fault?"

"Don't blame yourself Jamie. Bryan is the same way as you."

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Errr… I'm not going to repeat what I said, but you and Bryan is the same actually. It's kind of vice versa though, in his point of view, you're the blind one and he's the struggler."

"Nope, you're wrong. He never liked me, he sees me as a friend. And, he'll never show any actions that will tell me he likes me."

"And that's my point darling!" She sitted beside me again. "See? You too are blind."

"My eyesight's perfect."

"Shut up, we don't use sarcasm right now, okay?"

"How can you say I'm blind?"

"'Cause you can't see his efforts, you can't see that the dude likes you."

"He doesn't."

"Gosh Jamie, you are so stupid… You being with Bryan at the start of each day and Bryan always ending up going to your place clearly explains that he wants you!"

"It's because he looks at me as his.bestfriend…"

"Screw that shitty friend thingy… It was always you who's inside his car during mornings at school, and me as a well experienced individual, is saying that when a guy drives you to school and home always, it means he has something for you." She said, quoting her fingers on air.

"I still don't understand, I mean… How come you know about this?"

"'Coz I'm a genius Jamie, mind you."

My mouth was now formed 'O' at the moment. I so love this girl now.

"So, giving up yet?"

"Hmmm… maybe not." I gave her a closed mouth smile.

"Tell you what, if all of the things I said were true, you're going to let me screw your cute neighbor." She giggled.

"Bryan?"

"Just because I said cute neighbor, doesn't mean it's Bryan already. I mean your other neighbor."

I chuckled. "But, that's Sammy the geek!"

"Hey! He's hot, okay? A hot nerd, don't ever put him down."

"Alright, but if ever it's all wrong, you'll not go to college and be a nun."

"Sure, not a problem," she answered confidently, which somehow gave me hope… little hope.

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A/N

a very late and short update :p been really busy. im going to college in two months so yay! 

:p 

-jm

ps. not proofread