Why Don't I Call You Ciel? Ciel Phantomhive...

IV

Usually, 9.9 times out of 10, I don't sleep. Sleeping is pointless to me. I am a demon. Why should I sleep? But on the rare chance that I do happen to fall asleep...it is usually in the kitty suite.

But that chance that I do fall asleep has been increasing lately. I don't even like sleeping that much...but for some reason, since the arrival of Ciel, I have been dozing off a lot more than I should be. Am I getting too relaxed? That can't be good...

Anyway, currently, I am in that half-sleep half-awake state. I am so close to being awake and so close to being asleep. It is one of the most annoying things, after Souma. Souma takes #1 spot on my annoyance list.

Grell would be #1 but I haven't seen him since my Ciel was alive. Thank the universe for that. I really hope we never cross paths again. It would be way too much for my poor little demon self to handle.

Back to the main topic, I am almost asleep. The little kitty children of mine are all piled on top of me right now so even if I wanted to move, I couldn't. I would feel too guilty. My little children are using me as a cushion! How could I just move?! I am not heartless enough for that!

I hear the door open, Ciel must be awake. He is trying to walk really carefully around the cats, does he think I am sleeping? Probably. One of the cats meows at him and I can sense that he begins to panic. Don't worry Ciel, I will at least pretend like I am asleep if you're around. Part of my acting like a 'human' thing.

"Sebastian?" he says quietly. "Are you really sleeping? Don't you have work today?" The answer is no, I don't have work today but I can't really tell you that right now since you think I'm sleeping. When is a good time to 'wake up'? Should I open my eyes right now? I kind of think that would be too soon...

I let my breathing become a little more like snoring and open my mouth a little bit. I really should just wake up but something is telling me I shouldn't. Humans always say more when they think the other person can't hear them. Maybe Ciel will tell me something interesting.

Maybe.

Ciel silently watches as I just lay here. I would love to call that creepy but I did the same thing to the 'young master' so...perhaps it is best if I just keep my opinions to myself.

Some of my hair falls into my face, Ciel quickly removes it and places it back where it belongs. Without realizing it myself, I nuzzle into his hand. It is a good thing I am 'sleeping' or it would be really hard to explain that. Spending so much time around cats must be effecting me. Am I turning into one?

Ciel moves his hand away and makes some sort of squealing noise. Like 'kyaa' or something. I couldn't quite catch it since the noise didn't last very long.

"You're so cute sometimes Sebastian," Ciel giggles. I feel like I have just been insulted. I am not 'cute'. In no way, am I 'cute'.

I hear Ciel move but I am not sure what he is trying to do. That is when I feel something on my face. Is he kissing me? In my sleep? Wow, nice job. Taking advantage of a sleeping demon.

I taught you well.

Fine, I'll let you get away with this. There isn't much I can do about it now anyways. I kiss him back more roughly than how he initially began. Ciel doesn't think twice about reciprocating but I know that he can't handle this for very long. He has already started to lose his breath.

Ciel breaks away from me and I decide it is a good time for me to 'wake up' so I open my eyes. When I do, I must still be half-sleeping because he doesn't look like Ciel to me.

"Y-young M-master..." I mumble, without meaning to and sit up. I blink my eyes a couple of times in order to get the image away. This isn't him...this isn't the same person. This is a kid that I have found in the dumpster...

Get yourself together Sebastian!

Ciel just stares at me, confused and a little bit scared. Does he think I will get mad at him for kissing me? Well, I won't. I take my hand and rub my eyes, making sure that image is gone now.

"Good Morning," I say and smile hoping he will ignore the fact that I just said something before.

"Who is that?" he asks, for a brief moment a hurt look crosses his face.

"Who is who?" I say, trying again, to ignore what I just said.

"Who is 'Young Master'?" he asks and frowns.

"Ah, no one in particular," I say. The cats have already moved so I stand up and begin to walk out of the door to the kitty suite. "Are you hungry?" I ask, really hoping he will drop this but he doesn't.

Ciel grabs my arm and looks up at me angrily, "Who are they?"

I don't want to tell you, why can't you see that? Why are you forcing this out of me? I haven't talked about this person in such a long time, with good reason! Why should I tell you? What is the point in that?! You'll just get hurt either way!

Ah, well, if you are going to be hurt if I tell you...and you are going to be hurt if I don't tell you...

there really can't be any harm in telling you then.

Fine. Have it your way...but you can't say that I didn't warn you.

I walk out of the kitty suite and over to the wardrobe. The painting is in the back, behind my butler uniform. Ciel hasn't seen me open this hunk of wood once, so he is a little anxious.

I open the door slightly, just enough to get my arm inside and pull the painting out, but not enough so that he can see what is in there.

"This," I say closing the wardrobe and taking off the old sheet that was on it, protecting it from dust. I show it to him, one of my most prized possessions, "This is my Young Master."

The painting is clearly aged but the face is still so perfect. Ciel Phantomhive, the blue hair and the discolored eyes. One purple, clearly showing my mark and the other blue. The resemblance is clear and this boy notices it.

"His name was Ciel Phantomhive," I say. "He died a long time ago..."

"I look just like him," I can see tears well up in his eyes. He doesn't ask about the purple eye. If he did I wouldn't know what to tell him. Perhaps he can't see the demonic symbol...

"I-is this why?" tears come out in a steady stream now. He doesn't want to ask the question and I don't want to answer it. "Is this why you took me in? You even gave me the same name!"

I can't say anything to that, there isn't much for me to say. It is the truth. I did take him in because he reminded me of the other.

But even if they do look almost identical, they are not the same.

"It is, isn't it?!" he almost yells.

Ciel picks up some shoes and runs out. I want to go after him but I can't find myself doing it. There isn't anything I can say to comfort him.

We were just strangers.

This wouldn't have lasted long...

Demons aren't allowed such fortune...things like second chances don't come to us.