Part One- Chapter Two *Under Revision

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Part One

Chapter Two

My parents rushed to visit the hospital as soon as they received the good news from Dr Rohan. He had, to my great annoyance, delayed two days before ringing home, proclaiming that I was in a state 'not fit enough for relatives to be admitted'. The truth was, I was perfectly stable in mind, just often finding it hard to recall facts or put my thoughts into words.

By the time they had climbed the stairs- my dad refusing to use the disabled lift with his fractured foot- the anticipation of their arrival was making me quite irritable. I knew, however, that it was crucial for me to keep it together, or the doctors would send them away. It was beginning now to feel like I had not seen my parents for that month and a half, and my thoughts were full of ideas. One was even- wild as it was- to rip the IV drip out of my hand, and run down the corridors to meet them- I had gained great knowledge of the hospital layout from the kind nurses, most specifically Feechi. But after all, the IV must have been serving some purpose, so it was probably better left in my hand.

I had so much to ask my parents, and I could not wait for them to explain was had happened. Not infrequently, I had been having terrible nightmares, nightmares of pain, fire, and disaster- maybe this could help unravel the mystery. Someone had mentioned a vehicle collision to me, but I could not remember whether it was directed as an answer to one of my questions, or whether it was an explanation for another patient's injuries. There was a young boy in the bed opposite who had fallen from a first-floor apartment, and a girl who . Or was it the other way around?

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"Mr and Mrs Goodall to see Melissa, Doc." The nurse I knew as Feechi announced in a sing-song voice, interrupting Doctor Rohun's latest session of 'what do you last remember?'

"The patient is ready. Admit." Was his reply, and I felt a sudden surge of annoyance at my lack of choice. What if I- unrealistically- hated my parents, and seeing them sent me back into a coma?

No, Doctor Rohun would still admit them to my ward.

"Melissa?" There was no way I couldn't recognise my mother's silvery voice. She used to work at a broadcasting station before she became pregnant with me, then gave up the job so that my dad could keep on working. I smiled in greeting, although I couldn't see my mother through the bandages. My muscles felt tight and unresponsive to move.  "Oh... Melissa. It's so good to see you awake!"

"It's so good to hear you speak! But where's dad, and what's up with these bandages?" I asked, pointing to my head.

"The doctors thought it would be best to wait for us to tell you... when you're stable enough.  But let's wait for Daddy to come, OK? He's got a stiff foot-"

"Deal." I held out my less mummified hand for her to shake, only to find that she had gone from the bed. "Where are you?"

"I'm here, angel." I suddenly felt warm breath on my forehead- the only part of my head which was left bare- and a gentle kiss, like the one my mother used to give me when I had nightmares. For once, I didn't complain about being called 'angel'. I just wanted to know that she was here. "Here he comes now. Richard- she's still awake!"

My head snapped up to where I believed the door to be, and I smelt the strange lavender perfume that my dad insisted on wearing. "I missed you loads. It's been unpleasantly quiet for us in the house without all the music!" My dad paused, as if waiting for me to say something. "Melissa, do you... do you hate me?"

"No..." I racked my brain for a reason to hate my dad. He was considerate and kind, rich but hard-working, and he always seemed to have time for whatever I might need. I loved him, and it was impossible that those feelings could turn to hate. "Why should I?"

"I was driving the car the night of the accident." Richard stated, and my mother sighed. He had obviously been through the whole self-pity thing many times before. "If I hadn't been driving at that time..."

I began to slowly recall the events of the night... of the concert night! I'd wanted the loo, just as we were getting in the car. I now remembered that. "Dad, if I hadn't wanted the toilet before we set off, it would have changed it all too. Don't blame yourself, OK."

But he still continued, sounding surprised at my sudden gain of memory. "You were pretty messed up after the accident, but the doctors did well. You should be able to walk, even if your back hurts. And..."

"What?" I asked sharply, wanting to get the moment over as quickly as possible. I had no intention of making it into a soppy movie scene. "What else?"

 "When your head hit the headrest...."

"The occipital lobe in your brain was damaged..."

"And you're blind." My mother stated, breaking the news.

"I'm blind?" Suddenly, everything fit into place. Why there were tight bandages over my eyes. Why they attempted surgery on my head... on the occipital lobe. Why I couldn't get better. Why everyone pitied me. Why?

"Do you want us to go?"

"Yes... I need to think." My head was aching. What if there was something else wrong, something nobody knew about? How would everybody treat me at school? Would I go to school? What about my friends?

That day, everything had changed.

"I love you, mum... dad." I whispered, but they were already gone.The blackness enclosed around me, choking me. It hurt to breathe, and my chest rose and fell in quick spasms. It was like an everlasting death. Why was I not dead?

I hated myself.

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