Karissa

The Lovers

We 'd served our penance from the fight in two days of in-school suspension, and everything was back to the new "normal" - I pined for Karissa, sunk into depression from my eye-opening about my supposed friends, Jesse and Company acted the way they always did and were tormented for it...and life went on like it always did, albeit my struggling (for the first time in my life - ever) to keep my grades on top when all I wanted to do was surround myself with books and keep the real world out.

That day, too, was regular. I let Karissa blast the stereo in the car, hid behind Stephen King's newest in homeroom and skipped lunch to help Mrs. Limpert shelve books in the library, soaking up the day's single positive: freshmen girls admiring  the fitted red Ralph Lauren tee Karissa had made me buy. (Yes, I took her shopping - she insisted - and she had good taste, breaking me away from the labels I'd always worn) It stuck like superglue to my toned muscles.

Karissa had musical practice (Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - Dominic had the lead, and all his friends were other main roles), so I went home and came back with the car to pick her up. The school was almost empty, and the absence of background noise made the sound of vomiting in the guys' bathroom adjacent to the water fountain in the main lobby all the more prominent.

The stall door wasn't even closed - that cocky bastard - , though I checked, to cement what I already knew and be sure I wasn't making a fatal error,  for shoes and stared at the heels of those ratty, scuffed, basic black, Converse.

"What?" Jesse, leaning against the door, pulled his middle and ring fingers of his left hand out of his throat and wiped them casually on his black skinny jeans. He wore the same white Dolce and Gabbana Marlon Brando T-shirt I'd almost just bought at Saks the week before.

Now I was glad I hadn't.

"You're cheating on her. You said you wouldn't."

He looked amused.

"Who?"

My lips went to say "Lavender"; he had made her that promise - he'd sworn to everyone he was working on his eating disorders and he was ok, thanks...but what came from my mouth was.

"Anorexia."

And that was how it was, I could see: his food issues were the other women in the relationship with everyone, the ladies whose company he slipped off to when he was alone. Jesse Beaumont was caught between two lovers - and it would eventually kill him unless someone took a stand against his secret life.

I didn't do it because I cared at all about Jesse. It was Karissa, and sweet, gullible Lavender who'd been lied to so skillfully. I was furious at him for it, and I knew I'd get repayed in the pleasure of watching him break down, trapped.

Jesse fought my touch all the way, the heavy, steady pressure of my hand gripping his wrist, which was childishly thin. Their rehearsal was over, and all his friends were milling around in the hallway.

"He's been puking again," I announced with a certain amount of pride. They knew I wasn't lying. Rosemary actually burst into tears, angry, shocked ones that made Dominic hold her close while he stared at Jesse. I could see clear hurt in his eyes. It was a betrayal.

Lavender's mascara snaked down her cheek. She felt the betrayal and the harshness of his lies worst of all, and she darted forward and slapped him.

"I hate you, Jesse Beaumont!" she screamed, sobbing as she kissed him, torn between loyalty, their love, and his crime against her and his own body.

Now Jesse began to cry, upset, wounded wails, but he still glared at me with hatred, worse than ever before. I'd officially ruined his life, and he wanted to kill me for it.

His aunt - his legal guardian - was horrified and furious, Lavender told me the next day, and she, despite all Jesse's groveling, desperation, and tear-filled protests and promises, put him into inpatient treatment at the famous Lakeview Center for Psychotherapy.

"He'll get better - he has to," Karissa insisted, and Dominic smiled ruefully.

"He wouldn't miss the musical for anything. Heck, Jesse would be dead and he'd still be up there singing and dancing. He'll lick this. He better."

"He will," Rosemary murmured, "because I think he's really serious this time. Having to act like an anoretic...it was too tempting, and so easy to fall back into it."

I patted Karissa's shoulder as she wept onto her pizza.

"Hey - he's going to be all right. You're praying for him, aren't you? God has to listen to somebody as pretty as you."

She smiled shyly.

"It's not looks...or else if you prayed, it would all come true."