All Too Human {Doctor Who}

Chapter 3- Blocks

Isn't it strange how years can pass without so much as the slightest change, and yet your entire existence can be altered in the blink of an eye? They say life is beautiful, and should be lived to the fullest, but how can you believe that when life has been nothing but cruel to you?

For the metacrisis Doctor, life after Rose was one big blur of work, drink, and endless solitude. The solitude was self inflicted and became his hiding place. If no one talked to him it was easier to not acknowledge the pain. If he befogged his mind with drink, the pain was almost non-existent. And when he slept, he could envelop himself in happier times.

But not all dreams were sweet. Sometimes in the dark of night, he'd see Rose, hunched over and coughing, or lying still in his arms. He'd watch her as her beautiful face contorted in agony, or he'd see tears roll down her cheeks. And some nights, he could swear that he heard the sharp, unending cries of their child.

He tried not to think about their child, but she was always in the back of his mind. It wasn't that he resented the child,or that he blamed her for the loss of his wife, for that, he blamed himself. He knew that if Rose was alive, she'd be so disappointed in him because of what a pathetic excuse for a father he was. Their daughter spent just one week of her life with her father before going away to the Tyler Estate, and living there with her grandparents and young uncle. He caught glimpses of her now and then. Sometimes Jackie would email him photos of the little girl, in hopes that maybe he'd drop by for a visit.

He did drop by for a visit, every month or so, but not to visit his daughter. In fact, he'd usually come at night so as to avoid her completely. He came by because his drinking problem would empty his wallet until he couldn't afford food. Pete always gave him £245 and told him that he was always welcome in their home and that if he ever needed anything all he had to do was ask.

However, one day he dropped by early in the morning. When he stepped into the mansion, he was greeted with silence. At this time of day, Tony was at school, Jackie was out shopping, and after asking the housekeeper, the Doctor was informed that Pete was taking an important call in his study and that it was best not to disturb him.

So he sat down quietly in the sitting room. He felt uncomfortable in this room, the room where he and Rose had spent their first Christmas in this world, this house, where he'd proposed to her, and where their wedding reception had been held. After ten minutes of sitting alone with a pounding headache, he slipped into the kitchen to get a drink. He opened the fridge and grabbed a beer without a second thought. It wasn't until he'd taken a gulp that he heard soft footsteps on the hardwood floors.

A small girl, about four years old, was staring wide-eyed at him. She stood halfway in the doorway as if she was too frightened to enter her own kitchen. The first thing that struck the Doctor about her was her resemblance to Rose. From her short blonde hair to those large brown eyes that watched him warily. Even her cheeks had a light pink blush to them that was distinctly her mother's.

'She's cute'

"Susan" he said, his voice gruffer than he intended. The name was one that Rose had picked, a name that suited the curious child well.

"Are you Daddy?" asked Susan.

It took the Doctor a moment to answer. He rubbed at the back of his neck and swallowed to assuage his suddenly dry throat.

"Yeah" he replied "I'm Daddy"

The two silently stared at each other for a rather prolonged minute before the Doctor spoke.

"Are you hiding?" he asked, taking a swig of his beer and leaning against the counter "Why don't you come all the way into the room?"

Susan nodded and stepped into the room. She was dressed in a pink jumper with a yellow star knit onto it, shorts, and white socks that were too long and bunched up around her ankles.

"That's a nice jumper" he commented awkwardly "Who got it for you?"

"Nana Jackie" she told him, playing with the edges of the knit sweater.

"Oh" he said, surprised that Jackie had let someone refer to her as 'Nana' "She's gone out, hasn't she, Tony too?"

"Uh-huh" she nodded "Where's Papa?"

"Pete? He's busy right now"

Susan's bottom lip jutted out in a pout.

"I want Papa" she mumbled, staring down at her socks.

"Well sorry, it's just me for now"

Susan looked up at him, blinked, then dashed out of the room.

"Hey!" the Doctor said in surprise. He set down his beer and followed after her.

He found her in the playroom, building a tower of blocks. Cautiously, he sat down on the rug next to her.

"Is it okay if Daddy plays too?"

Susan nodded but didn't take her eyes off her tower. Her brow furrowed in concentration, she placed another wooden cube on the tall spire. Knowing basic physics, the Doctor knew that if she kept stacking like that it would eventually topple, but he let her build her tower and began constructing his own castle. Sure enough, a few blocks later Susan's castle came crashing down.

"Oh no" she said dejectedly. She hung her head in failure and stared down at the scattered blocks. "My tower broke" Her bottom lip quivered.

"Don't cry" he told her, frowning slightly "Here, let's build a new one"

Susan shook her head.

"S'not the same" she mumbled, sniffling.

"Why not?" the Doctor asked with a confused tilt of his head.

"It was special"

"How come?"

Susan looked up at him, eyes glistening.

"I was making it for you, Daddy"

The Doctor gazed at his daughter, and all he saw was Rose. Her face gazing back at him, the tears sparkling in her brown eyes. He knocked down his own blocks and pushed all the blocks into a pile on the floor.

"That's okay" he told her "It wasn't your fault. D'you wanna make a new one together?"

"Okay" she agreed, wiping her eyes.

Pete Tyler left his study and was told by the housekeeper that his son-in- law was here. When he arrived in the sitting room however, the Doctor was no where to be found. He checked the kitchen and found a half empty beer on the counter, but still no Doctor. He wandered down the corridor, and was rather shocked to hear his son-in-law speaking softly to Susan. He stopped in the doorway of the playroom and watched them for a moment before he was noticed.

"Papa!" Susan cried happily. She ran to her grandfather and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Hello, love" he replied, lifting her onto his hip "Is your daddy playing with you?" he asked. The question was not so much directed at Susan as it was towards the Doctor.

"Uh-huh!" she said, beaming "We're building a castle"

Pete smiled warmly at them.

"That's nice, sweetheart"

The Doctor stood up and looked at Pete guiltily. He hated asking for money, but he really needed it. He'd gotten himself in a financial hole, even with his job at Torchwood. He knew Pete would help him out, but he still felt like he owed the Tylers more than he had to give.

"I need to go talk to your daddy now, Susan" Pete told her, setting her back down on her feet.

Susan's smile fell slightly but she simply nodded and went back to building her castle.

"Okay. Bye-bye Daddy. Bye-bye Papa"

A/N: Oh my goodness I spent a while on this one :) Leave a review and maybe the story fairy will write faster~ my apologies for your feels, dear readers