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Chapter Thirteen

"Who was that?" Holly arrived at the bottom of the stairs, moving slower than usual but she was still trying to get her stamina back. Mother Grier thanked her lucky stars that she'd abruptly shut out their unwanted house guest before her daughter saw him, she honestly didn't know how long this charade of "she hates you, he hates you" could possibly go on for. John was so good at sweeping the problem under the carpet, but it was different for Gail, she knew they were hurting Holly by keeping her apart from their neighbour. Soon she would see it's for her own good. "Oh, no one, honey. They had the wrong house." Clearing her throat, Gail heads away from the door and towards her fragile child. "You shouldn't be up walking, you need to stay still." Rolling her eyes at her mother's overprotectiveness had become second nature to Holly, and this time was no different. "I'm fine, mom. I got down the stairs, didn't I?" Gail flapped and wondered down the hallway into the kitchen, calling back as she retreated further into their home, "Just don't overdo it, sweetie. You heard what the doctor said." Upon reaching the bottom stair, Holly's eyes focused on the front door before her. He's no good for you, Holls. Her father's words replay in her mind like an old, broken record, but was he really telling the truth? After everything they'd been through, Ryan didn't want anything to do with her? Or the baby? All the broken promises he'd made her. All the time she'd wasted on him was now a distant memory.

The mother-daughter duo spent some time sitting in the afternoon sun together, and as soon as Gail started to obsessively preen her precious plants in their garden, Holly headed indoors out of the heat. Another side effect of pregnancy she hated, was her ability to sweat buckets in such a short space of time. Drowning her throat with some quick glugs of water, she turned her attention to cooking something. Anything to take her mind off being cooped up in her own home like a prisoner. Holly decided to bake some cookies, Ryan's favourites. Chocolate chips with a hint of caramel. What a stupid idea. The thought made her heart ache, her chest tight.

Retreating upstairs when the heat had got too much, Holly headed straight for bed with her phone. She'd scroll through her Facebook and Instagram endlessly, but would always go back to looking at a single photo in her camera roll. One she'd captured of her and Ryan together with his dogs in-between, happily licking Holly's chin and wanting to be in on the action. Her smile was instantaneous with her attention focusing on Ryan. She remembered the moment like it was yesterday. His smile. His arm protectively around her back. I miss you. "I miss you so much.." It came out a shaky whisper, and Holly had to blink her tears away before they had a chance to fall.

~•~

Waking up still laid on her mattress, Holly rubs her eye and checks the time on her cell. 17:06. She'd only slept an hour, but it felt like a century. Wandering towards the window as she slipped on a shawl cardigan, and wrapped it around her belly, eyes exploring the street below. The house opposite. Ryan's house. His car was there, her eyes lit up at the indication he was home. She saw his blinds move for a split second. Maybe she was seeing things, seeing what she wanted to see. Longing to lay her eyes on his face again. She noticed Father Grier's car was still absent, and then something suddenly clicked in her mind, like the flicking of a light switch. Holly made her way downstairs, shoving her front door key and phone in her back pocket. "I'm going for a walk, mom. And before you start demeaning me, I'm going with or without your permission." Gail was still preening to her flowers, and her daughter was sure that if she cut them anymore there would be nothing left. She hung back on the porch, Gail stood up and took off her gloves. "Oh, well, I can come along? I'm just messing around with these buds–" "No, mom, please. I just want to be alone for a while. I won't be long, I promise. Just to the park and back." The mother nodded, heading into the porch too. "You better be back before your father gets home or he'll go mad." Holly smiled, giving her mother a hug before turning to practically flee towards the front door. She wasn't going to the park. She was going across the street. Back to him.

Mentally cursing herself for the frantic knock on his door, Holly keeps looking back at her own behind, checking if her obsessive mother is already out to follow her. The coast was clear, and she heard movement in front of her. Her heart seemed to momentarily cut out at the sight of Ryan towering over her again. She turned and there he was, leaning on the doorframe with a maroon tight t-shirt and beige-green cargo pants. His feet were bear, it was hot out still. Holly's mouth went dry, she couldn't speak. Ryan stood up straight when he realised who was lingering on his front porch. "Holly? What–What are you–" He fumbled over his words, never thinking he'd ever get the chance to see her again. He hadn't rehearsed anything. There was no big speech or bouquet of flowers waiting for her like he'd wanted. "I'm sorry. I–I just had to see you." Ryan gulped, looking round the neighbourhood behind her shoulders. John was out, but where was Gail? He's gonna get shot for talking to her. Big John is gonna kill him. Ryan's voice was desperate, confused. "Holly.. You can't be here." Her heart sank, and she nervously played with her fingers in front of her swollen belly. "I know you don't want to see me, but–" Ryan frowned, reaching his hand out to her arm. "Come on, come inside and we'll talk." Billie and Baxter descended into madness when the front door was closed again, their paws scraping the wooden floor as they ran towards the visitor. They picked up Holly's scent and went to lick her hands, the skin of her knees through her ripped jeans. She giggled softly. The sound Ryan's heart had missed so much. "Hey, doggies. You're looking pretty." She stroked both their heads lovingly, behind their ears and under their chins; just where they like it. Ryan swear he saw Baxter smile, and then he smiled too, awkwardly shoving his hand in his pocket while the other pushed back through his now longer hair. "Do you want to–er–sit down?" His eyes lingered on her belly, where she'd been shot. The baby still obviously growing, still surviving. It amazed him how the human body could bounce back so quickly. "Yeah, my legs aren't what they used to be." She joked, resting a hand on her hip, moving to the small of her back. This was the first time she'd stood up this long in a while. They wondered into the living room and sat next to each other on the couch. "I know I shouldn't be here, and I know you don't want me to be–" Ryan's eyes clocked her and listened to every word, he reached out a hand to her thigh. "Holly, it's not that. It's.. It's complicated." She turned to him, taking Ryan's hand in hers. "Why? What's happened, Ryan?" His fingers laced in-between hers, smoothing his thumb over her soft skin. The first time they'd touched in weeks. He swallowed, feeling like the pit of his stomach was about to fall through into his ass. "Your dad told me not to go near you, or contact you... Or he'd kill me." Avoiding her eyes, Ryan looked at their skin linked before blinking slowly. Suddenly, he lost Holly's touch and it quickly returned by her arms flinging around his neck, his own embrace bought her in and held her close. "I'm so sorry, Ryan.." Her supportive hand rubbed his back close to his shoulders. "You should listen to him, I'm not good for you. I always ruin everything I have." Then she pulled away again, the warmth between them disappearing. "I don't care what he says, he doesn't control me. I want to be with you. I need to be with you. You're everything I've ever wanted and more." Holly's voice was pleading, their lips inches from each other's. So ready to touch. So ready to feel love again. Ryan shook his head, it fell forward in defeat. She was here again. She wanted him. She really wanted him. She cupped his bearded cheeks in her hands, thumbs brushing over the dark dotted with grey hairs, bringing his head up so their eyes met. "I love you." Ryan saw it in her gaze before she even said it, her baby blue eyes always said things she could never admit. They were full of lust, full of longing for him. He caught her lips with his, and hers instantly parted for their tongues to intertwine.

She was home.