Ciel watched the blood pool out from Sebastian's head and fall over the steps. It was like his very own waterfall of doom. He couldn't believe it. How could he believe it? He had caused this to happen...he had placed those papers there...he had made Sebastian angry....he had forced the butler to leave, to not pay attention to where he was going. Sebastian could have avoided this if he was in his right state of mind...so why was Ciel being so stupid?
Why wasn't he a better master? A better lover?
Why hadn't he spent more time with Sebastian?
Why was he so obsessed with searching for the answer instead of spending time with the demon?
And most importantly...why did he say those words?
That was what Ciel regretted the most, the fact that he had told Sebastian such a hateful thing. The previous earl wanted more than anything to turn back time, to tell his ex-butler that he didn't mean it. He just wanted to apologize...to be a better person for Sebastian.
The previous earl changed his form into that of his older self, he picked up the body laying on the steps and carried it to his room. Ciel placed the body on his bed and arranged it in such a way that Sebastian would have complimented. The previous earl found roses that were still growing outside the manor and placed them by his ex-butler. Overtime he would continue to make Sebastian seem more beautiful in his vegetative state. Ciel would add various things to his display, since this was the only thing that Ciel could do, he didn't know if Sebastian would wake up, so he just treated him as if he was dead and if he was dead, he would make Sebastian look astonishing even in death.
The previous earl would never bury Sebastian, he would watch his body decompose over time. He would allow his butler to die upon his sheets, because it made him feel closer to him. At times the previous earl would even fall asleep next to the unresponsive butler...he would pretend that he was still alive, that he was just asleep and would wake up with Ciel.
None of these things were true. Sebastian hadn't responded to a word that Ciel had said in over a year now. Was Ciel loosing hope? Of course not, he was only sinking further into his delusions, He continued to search for a way to help Sebastian, only not as often. The previous earl devoted one day every week to searching for cures or helpful things. Only to reach no conclusion. There was nothing he could do.
Why did it have to be this way?
Why did these things have to happen like they did?
"Sebastian, please, if you can hear me, please open your eyes...please move, you don't have to forgive me...but please just don't be dead!" Ciel was sitting on a chair next to the bed that Sebastian was lying on. The ex-butler was not moving, just like he hadn't moved for the past year. He might never move again, why didn't Ciel just get that through his head?
Ciel placed his hand over Sebastian's, his hand was cold to the touch. It depressed him but he always felt the urge to touch his butler. There was just some peace of mind that came to doing that. Ciel couldn't explain why, he didn't understand at all. The demon still refused to answer. Ciel only cried, like he had done all the other times.
"I'm sorry....I'm so so sorry....but please..." the tears fell from the previous earl's face. Once they started they would not stop. It was just how these things worked. His emotions always got the best of him, when Sebastian was involved that is.
Ciel (now back into the younger version of himself) placed his head on the bed. He cried, not so silently, over his butler. His sobbing could be heard throughout the manor, there was no one there, so there was no reason to hide it. Sebastian couldn't hear him anyway.
