Flying on the wings of Dragons - Book 3, The Porth Kerensa Series

Chapter Seventeen

Amy and I are dressing for her hen night when Steve arrives back from the station with Mum in tow. Amy squeals and bursts into tears, flinging her arms around our mother, while I stand back and watch their emotional reunion. They have always been like that, and I have always felt left out and unwanted when I see it. Mum and I cuddle, and we used to kiss goodbye, but it has been a long time since our embraces were natural or comfortable. Amy pulls away and grabs hold of my hand to yank me towards Mum. We stand in front of one another, looking at one another.

     Mum is almost sixty years old, though she looks older. Her face is thin and more lined than I recall, but her blue eyes sparkle and there is a smile playing around her lips. She is a tall woman which has always given her a majestic, elegant quality. In the months after Dad died, she wore her elegance like a coat of armour, looking down her nose at anyone who mentioned Dad. The memory makes me think of my own aloofness, and I shiver. Maybe I am more like my mother than I thought. Perhaps she sees it too, for her eyes are soft and she holds her arms out to me. I fall into them as if I were a small child once more.

     She holds me close, rocking me tenderly, and kissing my hair. I think of Emi and how beloved she was; the first grandchild, cherished and tragically lost. For the first time I appreciate what other people lost, as well as my own grief. I squeeze my mother tightly, in the hope that she will know what I have discovered without word, and she kisses my face gently. I think maybe she does know what I am thinking, and what my heart finally found out.

     Mum sits on Amy’s bed, while we finish our make up and hair for our night out on the town, and listens to the plans for the wedding. I should imagine it won’t be the first time Amy has this conversation tonight and it makes me smile. For now Mum's attention is firmly on Amy, and for the first time in my life it doesn’t make me jealous. The phone rings and Mum indicates for me to get it while she helps Amy zip up her new dress.

     “Sarandon Residence” I say.

     “Hey, you.”

     Joe’s soft voice takes my breath away and I sink onto the little chair by the bed, turning my back on my mother and sister.  “Hi, Joe,” I say quietly.

     “Your mother gave me the number,” he says.

     “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

     He laughs softly. “She invited me to the wedding, but I said it wasn’t fair on you. I didn’t want to ambush you.”

     I turn and look at Mum, who is watching me with a knowing expression. I arch my eyebrow at her> She pulls Amy up and they leave me alone with the phone, and Joe. “That’s very thoughtful of you,” I murmur.

     “This wasn’t a good idea.”

     “It’s good to hear from you.” The words sound inadequate, but they are true. However useless this phone call is, I cannot help but be pleased. Listening to his gentle voice and imagining him next to me. The ache inside me is almost unbearable and I have to turn away from my reflection in the mirror, for I cannot bear to see the emotions on my face.

     “I miss you so much, Lia,” he groans. The words sound like they have been ripped from him.

     “I miss you too.”

     “Come home, Lia.” He is imploring and I long to run out to Steve’s car and drive the long journey to Cornwall, home to Joe. He is right, it is my home now. Where ever I end up, Porth Kerensa will always be in my heart, and the people will be missed every day. However, there is no future for me and Joe. How could I ever go back and not be part of his life?