Start Again

Chapter 2

Mae's POV
As I walk out, I can feel a vein popping out of my head because of my anger. Ashton shows up after 6 years and he thinks he can just walk in and make amends with me?!

Where was he the past 6 years? Missing 6 birthdays? Missing Mom's funeral? Where was he when I needed him?!

First, my dad leaves, then my brother leaves, my mom dies, and now my brother thinks he can just walk in and want to be a part of my life. But I'm not going to let him.

I go to the park, and I sit down on a bench.

I clutch my fist, still angry at my brother. You know what? He wasn't with me for the past 6 years. That's no brother at all.

"You okay?" I hear a voice say to me.

I look up and I see my best friend Jack.

Jack and I have known each other since kindergarten. He's a month older than me. He has dark brown hair and brown eyes, like me. He's always been there for me whenever I needed him.

"I'm surprised you came here," he says as he sits with me.

"We haven't been to the park since we were 7."

"You know I always come here to clear my mind," I say.

"Now back to my original question. Are you okay?"

"No. You know my brother Ashton?"

"Famous photographer?"

"Yeah. He came back today."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Jack, he came back after six years. He missed 6 of my birthdays. He didn't even send me a damn card! And now he just walks into my house and thinks he can be a part of my life again? Hell, no."

"I think he's trying to reach out to you."

"If he is, I'm not gonna let him in. He's gonna leave again. Like my dad did. I just know it."

"How do you know?"

"Because Ashton is just like my dad. They lie. They make promises they won't keep. And they leave...whenever you need them the most. At least my mom loved me enough to stay."

I shed a tear just remembering my mom.

"Mae, my dad left 4 years ago. And when he tried to be a part of my life again, I told him I hated him and that he can go to hell."

"You told him to go to hell because he was abusive to you and your family."

"And it was because he was Bipolar and Schizophrenic. It wasn't fully his fault. Then two years later, he got into a very severe car accident. And he died. He never got the chance to reconnect with me. Now I wish I had a dad. I regret it every day. Don't let that happen to you. Reconnect with Ashton while he's still here."

"In the country or in the world?"

"The world. If you don't, there will never be a day when you won't regret it."

"You're such a wise-ass, aren't you?"

"Would you rather have your best friend be a dumb-ass?"

I chuckle at his sense of humor.

"I guess not. Thanks, Jack."

"Anything for you."

"I'll see you at school. I gotta go home."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I rise and I head home.

As I walk, I think of what happened 10 years ago. When Ashton told me Dad was gone. I might have only been 4, but the memory of that day was crystal clear.

I was in my room, listening to "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rae. Back then it was my favorite song. 

A 14-year-old Ashton came walking in.

"Mae -Flower?"  he says.

"Mae -Flower" was his nickname for me.

"Yeah, Ashton?" I say as I turned off the radio.

"We need to talk."

We sat down on my bed.

"I--I don't know how to say this."

"Say what?"

"Mae, Dad's...gone."

"What?"

"He left."

"When is he coming back?"

"I don't think he's coming back. I don't think he wants to be with us."

"You're lying."

"I was I was, but I'm not."

"No. You're lying!"

Tears began running down my face.

"Daddy loves us! He didn't leave us!"

I ran out of my room looking for my dad.Ashton was running after me, calling my name.

I ran to my dad's room, finding all the drawers open and nothing inside.

"Daddy?" I ask.

"Mae," Ashton says as he walks in.

"He's not here. Not in the house, not in the neighborhood. Probably not even in the state. He's gone and he's not coming back."

"You're lying!!!" I cried as I turned to him.

Ashton kneels down to my height and wraps his arms around me. I wrap my little arms around his neck, I rest my head on his shoulder and begin to sob.

"It's gonna be okay," he says.

It wasn't until now I realize that I was crying. He told me everything was going to be okay. Newsflash: I'm not okay.