The Beginning

Untitled Part 1

the beginning 

  Sitting here now I would have never imagined that my life would have changed so much in so little time. Who would have known that the first day of senior year would cause me so much joy but so much pain. Who would have known that the little boy with the big mind and skinny arms would change so much of who I am. But let's not rush this story, after all, I have a whole school year to write about and a boy to fall in love with all over again.

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Beep...beep... beep

There's nothing like waking up at 6 am, tangled in sweaty sheets, with absolutely no idea where the bed ends and you begin. "Dammit," slips passed my lips as I begin wrestling my legs free from the sheets, attempting to wrap my head around the fact that today marks the start of my senior year of high school. After three years, four summers, and endless sleepless nights, the beginning of the end was finally here. As I sit up and stretch my tired limbs it begins to dawn on me that in a few short months I'll be saying goodbye, not hello, to the people who have made my high school experience a tolerable one. Shivers shoot up my spine as I make my way to restroom sink. 
"Well, guess this is it," I run my fingers through my hair and turn on the faucet. The warm water feels heavenly against my cold skin and my mind, for a split second, stops racing.

"Have a good day! I love you," my mom yells through the car window as my brother and I walk through the front gate, "Love you too, now bye." I was expecting a much more... sentimental feeling to wash over me as I walked down the halls once more for the first time, but instead, I was met with a feeling of annoyance and a wave of humidity. As I made my way down to the gym to pick up my new schedule, it occurred to me that this would be my last schedule EVER. This would be the last year that bells controlled my life and teacher told me when I could and can't pee. "Ahh we did it!" I hear from behind me and soon a tiny body bumps into my side, jumping up and down. " Guess so." "Oh bitch don't be so damn depressing, it's a good day!" "First of all, fuck you and second, I'm fine just tired" "Blah blah Blah let's just get this shit and go get breakfast I'm Starving." With that she walks away and I stand there remembering how I ended up with such a friend. It all stated in seventh grade, she had side bangs and a terrible tan and I had baby fat and braces. It was then at lunch on the third day of school that I found my soul sister, my best friend, my favorite hoe; Olive. "Hellooooo" I blink a few times before I can finally place where I am and realize I've been frozen in place long enough for Olive to go and get her schedule. "Did you get yours yet? I'm sure we have the same classes, we always have the same classes." " Um no," I struggled to find words, " I'm heading there now I'll meet you in Parks" I start to move away but still manage to hear her tiny voice yell back an okay. As a nameless underclassmen hands me my schedule I begin to experience a huge wave of regret . Why would anyone in their right mind sign up for so many AP classes? "Oh fuck." Today was going to be a long day.

I was right. It's only third period and I already want to drop out of school. As my government teacher stood at the front of the room explaining what government was and how often we have to watch the news from now on, I decide I should just quit while I'm ahead and don't have any student debt to pay off. When the bell rings, singling the end of third and the start of fourth, it never even crossed my mind that my life would greatly change the moment I stepped into my physics class and headed for my assigned seat. It had been three years since the last time I'd seen him. Three years since we sat besides each other in 8th grade algebra. In those three years I spend my time trying to be someone I wasn't and he spend his days inside a gym. His body was lean and muscular. His jaw strong and potent. His hair tame yet wild. But no matter how nice his arms were, his eyes were his best feature. They weren't blue like the sea or green like the grass in the summer time. They were brown and all I could think was "How could anyone say they prefer green or blue eyes over these?". It was in that moment that I decided brown eyes were my new favorite thing. They were like the color of coffee. The coffee that takes away your sleepiness, the kind that keeps you up at night. He looked up as he heard me approach the desk and said nothing, it was then I noticed the boy besides him, "Hey guys", I manage to say as I let my body fall onto my assigned seat. Physics: first day pre test was written across the whiteboard stationed at the front of the classroom. The room was shocked, yet buzzed on the adrenaline of seeing just how good they were at a subject none of us even knew the definition of. "Oh Fuck am I really about to already fail my first test on the first day", I begin to joke but soon a deep voice cut me off saying, " I doubt you'll fail". I looked up and locked eyes with the one person I was hoping wasn't the one talking. Neither of us say anything and as the teacher walks by we both looked away and I exile the breath I didn't even realize I was holding.

Math was never my strong suit, so I'm not completely sure what was going on in my head when I decided to sign up for AP physics. Did I think I would magically figure out how numbers worked over summer? Or maybe I figured hell I have a graphing calculator now I can solve anything? Who knows what got me here, but none the less, here I am and positive I missed every question on the test. I sighed as I got up from my desk and made my way out the door. "Can't believe this.." I said under my breath as he walked past me. I watched as he made his way to the lunch line, all alone, yet he didn't seem to be looking for company the way I did when I was walking by myself. Maybe I should go say hi. "Hey stranger" I hear behind me and was almost positive it came from the mouth of a 4'11 red head with very little patience. "Hey," I smile and turned to face her. "So how's it going! Good, bad, terrible!? Personally I've been having a great ass day and can't wait to go home and sleep." "I mean it's okay so far, can't really complain. Oh wait no yes I can actually we just took a test in Physics! On the first day! Who does that!" "Lmao Blue come on I heard its just practice won't hurt your grade at all" "But ..." "But it's the moral of it yes I know I know" she finishes for me and smiles but deep down it stings to know I'm so predictable. "Yes Jane it's the moral," I laugh remembering the first day we meet and how I though she'd be nothing be another face in my life. " So who are your physics partners you can always copy off them" "Um Anthony, you know AJ's boyfriend.." "Oh didn't you hear they broke up actually!" "Oh really? No idea, how sad they were together so long" "Yeah anyway who else" "Oh um Red, He's in your photography classes right?" "Lmao Red yeah he's weird but cool I'd copy off him if I were you," she winks at me. "HA I'll keep that in mind," I laugh and with that said, we remain quite the rest of the way to the front of the line and after getting our food we exchange nothing but a few words as we go our separate ways to our lunch spots. "Just two more periods to go" I kept repeating to myself as I made my way to room 103, but a voice in the back of my head always responded with " But there's so much more to go" I couldn't argue with that. There is so much more, but I had no idea just how much.