Worlds Apart

Chapter 3-Explanations

  I look down, unable to meet Aris' eyes. I've always known I was different since I was little, but I can't be a halfblood. I just can't except it. Can't wrap my head around it.

  "I'm Talourian and you mother was an Xaian." Aris continued. I nodded numbly. It was hard to understand what he was saying, I felt a little lightheaded.

  "Is...is that why Mom and I were on Xai when she was..." I trailed off as Aris chewed his lip thoughtfully.

  "I don't really know why you were on Xai. She must have tried to pass you off as a Xaian with those wings of yours." he said thoughtfully. My eyebrows shot up as shock and then fear made me stiffen.

  "You know about my wings?!" I exclaimed, suddenly feeling self conscious as I scooted away none too discreetly.

  "Of course I do. I was there when you were born." he said matter of factly, giving me a hard look.

  "So all those years I thought..." I lost my voice for a few moments.

  "You thought...what?" Aris prompted, gazing at me intently.

  "All these years I...thought you...you didn't...want me, and now this?" I asked him quietly, cursing my voice inwardly as it threatened to crack for the second time today.

  "...All these years?" he echoed, blinking owlishly at me. I heaved an inward sigh at my blunder, now he would undoubtedly hound me until I gave in and told him

   When I didn't answer he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and said quite smugly, "Now it's your turn to explain."

   I'm. So. Dead. was my only thought. But I reluctantly told him about my accidental eavesdropping I did eleven years ago anyway. And surprisingly, he didn't interrupt at all. Not even afterwards as I recited the conversation almost word for word on his request.

  "...Why didn't you ever say anything about it? And if you knew that long, why would you be so...so upset?" he asked while tugging on a string hanging from the sleeve of his shirt without looking at me.

  I shrugged noncommittally. "I guess I thought I misheard or something, being so young." I mumbled, not looking at him either. "But...I...I was afraid...afraid it being true." He looked at me long and hard, regret shining painfully clear in his eyes. I can't really bring myself to hate him now that I understand what happened, but can I tell him what I'm planning to do? I'm just so confused right now. In the end I hold my tongue.

  "Tell me how it happened." I demanded suddenly to change the subject. And somehow he knew what I meant without asking.

  "We were on our way to Talour on a representative's ship, working our way there since we couldn't afford to buy our own cruiser. You were nearly eight months at the time and thankfully not the only child aboard so you weren't checked. The Xaian government doesn't like a lot of things, but marriage between a Talourian and an Xaian is forbidden, so you're-"

  "Illegal, gee thanks." I grunted sarcastically.

  "Do you want to know or not?" he narrowed his eyes slightly, not because he was angry at being interrupted but because I was being disrespectful and I knew it.

  "Go ahead." I waved his irritated look away like I couldn't care less. But on the inside I was hanging on his next word. I didn't know why I suddenly cared so much, but I did.

  "We hadn't been onboard a week when we were attacked." his normally bright blue eyes took on a grayish cast as he stared right though me, as if seeing the past unfold again on the wall behind me. He broke off for a long moment as he watched the wall, nothing moved save for his eyes which twitched left and right as if seeing the attackers plunder the ship. He continued after an uncomfortable silence, his voice eerily mechanical.

  "They crippled and gutted the ship within an hour, taking all the women, children and cargo. And leaving most of the men either dead, dying or seriously wounded. I would've died if we hadn't been rescued. And all of us who managed to survive wished we hadn't." And before I could move he lifted the hem of his shirt to reveal a wide, lumpy scar that resembled a serious burn. It ran vertically from his waist up to almost his collarbone. I blanched at the sight of it, my vivid imagination filling in the blanks.

  "...That's it then?" I spoke up after I'd processed what I'd seen and heard, finding myself somewhere in between anger and resentment.

  "No." he mumbled, still detached. "We were set adrift for who knows how long, weeks maybe, our life support barely functioning until a Talourian government ship happened upon us. They took the survivors and recruited them into the ranks of the havens by force..."

  "...And that's why..." I trailed off as he continued to stare holes on the wall, suddenly feeling guilty about having blown him off earlier. I would apologize, but I wasn't sure if he could hear me anymore. He seemed to be drifting away even as he spoke, as if returning to the very point in space where he lost us all those years ago.

  And if what he said was true, I didn't blame him for looking the way he did. It had been years since Zora died and yet I still had nightmares from time to time. Even with my overactive imagination I couldn't grasp what he must've seen, heard and felt. I guess it's true that even though wounds heal and scars fade, memories remain.

  "Are...you okay?" I ask him after what seemed like a very long time.

  "Hmm! Oh, yeah. I'm fine." he sputtered, coming back to reality. "Hey, there's something I've been meaning to ask you...?" he trailed off uncertainty as he toyed with the string on his sleeve again, like he wasn't sure whether to ask me or not.

  "Sure...shoot." I eyed him warily, wondering what crap he was going to throw at me next.

   "...Do you, by any chance, remember what the killer looked like?" he asked after a pause, as if not daring to hope.

  "Y-yeah...why?" I added the latter part hastily as I caught the look on his face. I didn't like that look...

  "...Well, I made a deal with Niren that I wouldn't leave till after I told you who I am." he answered finally, managing to find the courage to meet my gaze. I just stared at him in stunned silence. Now I have to tell him, otherwise we'd run into each other and I had a bad feeling that he'd call Niren down on me if he thought I was following him.

  "Could you please tell me what he looked like?" he asked hopefully, shaking me from my dismal train of thought.

  "I would, but I'm leaving soon." I said flippantly. He laughed. I'm not joking. He laughed in my face.

  "I'm not taking you with me." he said in a tone that sounded like he was assuring himself of this as well.

  "I never said I was going with you." I lashed back stubbornly, glaring at him with what I hoped was a withering a gaze as Niren; but managing to keep my cool. "I've been planning this since I was nine and I'm leaving. I don't care what you say."

   "You'll never get past the atmosphere, it's guarded by drones." he informed me rather smugly, as if drones would keep me on Talour. He thought wrong, if that's what he meant.

  "I'll get there one way or the other, I've already gotta ride." I shot back, getting a little angry with his smug face.

  "Really? Well then, this could work..." he said and started mumbling to himself. I stared at him, occasionally throwing a glance at the door. I wasn't sure whether it would be better to stay here until he left or make a break for it right now. But like most of my life up to this point, the decision was soon made for me.

  "You have supplies?" he asked me suddenly. Confused, I nodded slowly. I wasn't really sure if I could trust him just yet. The adverse way that I treated people I didn't know well had carried over from my previous years. I guess my mother had taught me too well...

  "...Yeah, lots of everything I think I'll need." I said, showing him my inventory of stuff for the trip when he asked for it.

  "Alright, that settles it then. We leave in half an hour." And with that I can only assume he left to pack, leaving me in a whirlwind of unanswered questions and confusion as he slammed my door behind him.