Saving Ashley

Chapter 5

I slowly opened my eyes and blinked rapidly to adjust to the man who was standing over me, looking at me with a worried expression plastered on his face. He was here, he was actually here! How is that even possible? Jason died, he couldn't be here! Was he a ghost? Coming back to haunt me because I can't move on? I was happy yet at the same time I was pained. This wasn't normal, I shouldn't be seeing him yet I was.

"Ashley, you need to sit up slowly" He told me and I nodded, obeying. "I told you I needed time to tell you but you kept pushing me" 

"How are you here" I blurted out. "You're dead...Are you a ghost?" He started chuckling lightly whilst walking away to look around my room.

"If that's what you want to call me then sure" He shrugged, turning back and smirking at me. "Boo"

"That's not funny. I just fainted because my dead best friend is standing here, in my room speaking to me yet no one else can see him" I glared at him and he mumbled sorry to me whilst walking back over.

"It's a lot to take in but...At least the easy part is over with" He shrugged and I stared at him confused. That was the easy part?

"What's the hard part?"

"Fixing you" He smiled at me sadly and sat next to me. "I'm only here to help you get better Ash. I can't let you waste your life because of your childhood. It's been years, you need to move on and I need to help you with that whether you want me to or not" 

"I can't be helped, Jay" I shook my head, nothing could help me. "I've felt this way for so long...I think it's here to stay"

"That's only because you won't talk to anybody" He whispered, putting his arm round me whilst smiling. "So, we're going to start off by talking to your mum" I rolled my eyes and shook my head, standing up to get away from him.

"By we, you mean me. Because she can't see you" He nodded and I smiled slightly. "Well, I'm not talking to my mum about this. This is insane"

"You don't have to tell her about me being here, just about how you feel" I went to cut him off but he stood up and covered my mouth with his hand shaking his head. "You're bottling up your emotions Ash. You need someone to talk to and your mum is the perfect go-to girl. Your mum loves you Ash, she'd do anything for you. She just wants you to be happy but you won't speak to her and you won't let yourself get the comfort you really need. Confide in her, let her help you" He slowly removed his hand, watching me and waiting for me to respond. He was right, but I didn't really speak to my mum, especially about personal stuff like this.

"We don't speak-"

"Then go up to her and speak" He shrugged but I just shook my head.

"I need time. I can't just go up to her"

"You've had years to do it and you never have. This is your chance" I didn't want to disagree with him when I knew he was right. I had so many terrible scenarios in my head about me speaking to my mum. She'd turn away, ignore me. She'd break down because of me...But I wouldn't know until I actually talked to her.

"Fine" I slowly walked out of the room, knowing Jason was following me. He'd be watching, making sure I was actually going through with it.

My mum was sitting in the living room, she looked worried about something, probably me.

"Mum?" I walked and sat down next to her surprising her.

"Have you thought about that meal?" She gave me a small smile and I shook my head.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something" Her worried expression became more intense. She kept quiet and waited for me to speak but my anxiety became creeping up making it impossible for me to speak. I was so nervous about speaking to my own mother. How ridiculous!

"Honey?"

"I'm sorry for how I've been the past couple of years. I've bottled up all my emotions and moped around whilst you've been watching me, helpless because your own daughter can't talk to you, to anyone"

"Ashley" She began tearing up. "It's not your fault you've felt that way. It's normal, don't think that there's something wrong with you when there isnt"

"But mum, I've been feeling so depressed since I was six. It's only gotten worse. I...I need help mum" I teared up and she pulled me into a hug, holding me tight. "I'm sorry"

"Don't you dare. I love you Ashley, your my daughter and I'm so relieved that you've told me. I'll get you the help you need, I'll do anything to make you happy again" She started stroking my hair, comforting me. It was nice, loving...And such a relief. I may not have said much but she understood me. She knew what I was going through even though I never said anything. You could see I was depressed, the way I acted and how there wouldn't be one day where I wouldn't cry.

My eyes lingered to Jason who stood there looking proud of me. He gave me a little thumbs up and left the room, leaving me to cry in my mother's arms. This was the first step to recovery, talking to someone and letting my emotions out safely. I just had to take my time, clear my head and slowly get better...If that was even possible.