The B-Side

Chapter 5: Fate / Destiny

I presented the recorder to Danny that same night, driving to the studio at ten in the evening just to catch Danny closing up shop. I didn’t know how else I was going to reach Neil except for Danny and Pete, but I have a feeling Danny sees Neil more than Pete does.

Danny frowned, eyeing the recorder in his hand, and he couldn’t help but ask, “Giving up already?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said, a small smile on my face. “I’m all in this game, Danny. He’s making life a little bit more worthwhile.”

Danny shook his head, smiling a bit, and we walked together to the parking lot as I tried to get him to tell me what the next routine for the class would be on the way there.

He wouldn’t budge.

The next day, the sound of the doorbell woke me up. I hobbled out of bed, still sleepy, wondering who would wake me up at ten in the morning when I had only went to bed at six. I barely even tried to fix myself—I just went.

And when I opened the door, no one was there. And like in the movies, I looked down.

At my doorstep was the recorder, with its bright neon pink earbuds wrapped around it. Lying next to it was a single red tulip, its petals still glistening with water. Around the tulip’s stem was a handwritten note coming from Neil.

Now that is a very effective wakeup call.

I picked both the recorder and the tulip, and then headed back into my apartment. I untied the note from the tulip’s stem, amused at the homemade stationary, the type that was made from onion skin paper that was dipped in what smelled like coffee. It will be too much if he’s the one who made this stationary.

It’ll always be full moon and bright stars with me, Leia. No overcasts, no cloudy skies. I couldn’t do away with midnight, but I’ll try my best to be there when midnight comes again. I will keep you safe. -Neil

I am not one to believe in promises right away, especially made by a person I haven’t truly met, and by someone whom I haven’t talked to face-to-face part from the first time we met.

But I am playing his game.

I just hope this is the only game he’s planning to play with me, and not a game with my heart.

Press Play.

When I listened to your song—the song of your life as of now—my immediate thought was… why?

Why wouldn’t someone see you?

“Because he is looking at someone else,” I answered aloud. “And I wasn’t his type, so I wasn’t necessarily pleasing to his eyes. I wasn’t who he wanted to see.”

Why would someone trap you in midnight all the time?

“Because I let him trap me in his darkness. Not necessarily his fault.”

Why wouldn’t someone want to be yours?

I sighed. “It goes back to the first question—because he’s blind. And technically, I was also blind, because I wasn’t able to see anyone even if they’re flapping their arms in front of me with red flags in their hands.” 

Four PM. Danny’s dance studio. I will wait for you there.

That was all the instruction I was going to get from this track. I was about to stop the recorder when Neil’s voice came back on the track.

And listen to this first.

The song was unfamiliar. I listened to it once, twice, until the song was on the repeat. It’s the perfect song for me… but not right now.