I do not own the House of Night series, or it’s characters. I am just using them as examples and I am too lazy to cite them.
Alright, now I know I said the next chapter would be over RPF’s and Bandfic’s. But something recently came to my mind that made me want to go swallow rubbing alcohol and bleach to get the taste out of my tongue. Today’s rant is entitled Guilty Pleasure’s… and Shameful Sins.
One of my guilty pleasures is going online and finding interesting articles about firearms, for I am a wonderfully functioning gun nut. Besides looking up history and new innovations in firearms, I also enjoy reading a few books that others don’t like. My favorite series of books overall that is a guilty pleasure is the Anita Blake series. If you haven’t heard about it, well I suggest you look them up if you are interested in a good adult paranormal series with action, mystery and a whole lot of blood and guts. Originally, these books where all about the mystery and magic, and now it’s a wavering balance of sex and action. And when I mean sex… well it’s more descriptive and better written then some of the stuff here on Wattpad. If anyone wants to find the series, it’s ironically titled “Guilty Pleasure’s” and is by Laurell K. Hammilton.
Now onto my Shameful sin. *sighs* alright, who here is guilty of reading a book, loving it and getting hooked on it. *Raises hand* Well I have so far. Okay, nothing wrong with that, but have any of you guys ever gone back to reread a book you loved only to start questioning yourself why exactly you liked the damn book? And that can include Twilight, but quite frankly I regret watching the movies over reading the books. Unless I want to laugh at it of course. No, my shameful sin is that I liked the House of Night series by mother/daughter team of P.C and Kristin Cast. *Ducks from the volley of fangirls throwing stuff*
Oh BITE ME! Alright then, so know to explain for anyone who doesn’t know of this book, or train wreck depending on your point of view. The House of Night series is about Zoey Redbird, a… I think full blooded Cherokee Indian teenager girl who lives in a world of vampires. What? Oh right, excuse me. “Vampyre’s”, aw fuck it, I’ll write the classical word of the everything is better with Y trope. Unless you’re a yaoi fangirl of course, Y means two different things that may just be your cup of tea.
BACK TO THE TRAIN WRECK! Anyway, Zoey is… well… fuck it. She’s a Mary damn Sue, of epic proportions. On a scale of Bella Swan to Ebony Dar’kness Dementia Raven Way, google the fanfics My Immortal if you must know, Zoey is a few slots below Ebony. Mainly because Ebony is infamous for having twenty different ways to spell her damn name due to grammatical errors, My Immortal has twelve grammatical errors per every four words (just let that sink in). People who are familiar with the term label Bella Swan as a Mary sue because she gets everyone’s attention with doing very little and using smallish rants. Another example is how she slut shames a few girls for looking googly-eyed at Edward. Well, let us stop and make a comparison. Take a highlighter and the first three books of the House of night and the first book in the Twilight series. Now then, go through any line that trashes girls based upon their appearances, clothing optional, stances, how they act, or pop culture references about women deemed sluts.
Now that you have don’t that, image that each of those lines are a gallon of water and for each line drop that water in a pool. Twilight will probably fill one of those Wal-mart, those blue walled ones that are about 4 feet deep. For House of Night, you better go find a public swimming pool. I swear to god a literal third of the book is slut shaming or put downs about women in any way or form. The literal bitchiness is also based upon stereotypes of people, bad ones at that. Look at Jack Twist and Damien, not sure if they borrowed the whole one name for vampires rule from Laurell K. Hamilton or not, but that’s his name. These two are the ‘sassy gay best friends’ and happen to be the boyfriends of each other.
The latter has been described as mildly feminine, but not too feminine. He has a flat, clichéd personality of those sassy gay guys you see who are unbelievably shallow, and in real life can be annoying. Also, they even diminish the idea that a gay guy can be a ‘guy’ at all. It’s practically how he is introduced. For fucks sake, I have had it with the goddamn gay sterotypes on this fucking site and in these fucking books. GAY GUYS DO NOT SPEND EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THEIR FUCKING DAY TALKING ABOUT DICKS, SHOPPING, OR BEING SASSY! The fact that these trope seems to be used a whole lot on this site, as well as weak and are beaten by everyone in existence in a fucking story, pisses me off to no damn end. Yes, people have been bullied, beaten and disowned for being gay before. BUT! Not every gay person has a goddamn sob story! They weren’t all raped, beaten, exiled and forced into stereotypical roles. But tell that to these authors, get a clue please, or talk to someone who is gay.
All her friends don’t exactly have opposition to her ideas, and if she doesn’t have an idea, they do and then she takes it from them. Seriously though, that does happen in real life, but too much of that happening and I get fricken pissed.
AND FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING EVERYTHING UNHOLY, CURSE YOU BITCH! I do mean besides ‘hell’ of course. She sounds like those moral guardian parents have beaten into her head a lesson in “Cursing is something only stupid sluts and whores do”. I’m paraphrasing another person’s review for that quote. Now I happily curse like a sailor, I also have a set limit to how much I can curse ever since I read Catcher in the Rye. If you ever want an example of a whiny teenager that shows you how stupid it is to curse every third word, go check out that book. Substituting curse words, god this sounds like I’m in the sixth grade, is plenty okay. I vehemently use fudge as a way to replace fuck often in real life. Same goes for Shi-take Mushrooms for the exact word that describes this book series. A big steaming pile of Shi-take mushrooms.
But then there are some forms of word bleeping that is… below the curses of a second grader. That one is actually pushing the bar a little, I’ve meet plenty of second graders who curse more than I do. *shudders at the thought* Here’s a wonderful example of below grade school level bleep, “Bullpoopie”. *stares at open book* BULLPOOPIE?! ARE YOU BULLSHITTING ME RIGHT KNOW?! Bullcrap, bullspit, bullshit, bull yo momma! This shit is even dumber than I am on political discussions! CURSE YOU BITCH! CURSE! Oh wait, she does. She uses the word ‘hell’ as a way of exclamation.
Well, this rant is long, so time to finish up. If you also read this overcook and spiced steaming pile of Shi-take Mushrooms, leave your opinion below.
