Love Is Not As Poetic As They Make It Seem

Stay

Insecurity isnt a feeling
Its a place
Where i stay most of the day
Wondering if you really love me
Wondering whether im just a bother
Crouching behind walls in a place i created
Where dancing silhouettes in the form of self doubt follow my every move

My ugliest place
The worst room i own
You dont belong here with that pretty smile and those nails between your teeth
Yet here is where you are
Behind every charred wall

You
and the elegance in which you carry yourself
As the hems of your dress flow above the ground
you are out of place
Yet still feel at home
I try
I really do try
To avoid you when I can
Sticking my feet down sewers
Ruining pair after pair of shoes
Hurriedly untangling webs of lies and deceit
I cry
And i beg
And i yell at you while i trip on stones and bruise my hips
Ive never felt a more bracing fear than the one that rips through my stomach and spills at my eyes
when i see you

And when you finally catch me you always do this
You always do
You make me feel foolish for running
You make me feel tense in the aftermath that is your love
Most importantly you make me feel
More than just worry
And as the tension leaves my shoulders in waves
And my bruises turn yellow
I have never felt less alone
I have never felt more safe

And that is why my love
That is exactly why i run
Run so fast i can feel the electricity course through me and leave a path for you to follow
With you insecurity becomes less than a place
less than a feeling
And shadows turn into clear water
That wont let me see whats underneath
I run because I know shadows still exist with you

Because with the promise of light comes years of darkness
That is why
ild just rather
Stay