Help Me, It Hurts

Moving Forward

As the weeks went by, my wounds from not only what Meghan did but also from my past, continue to heal. A part of me is grateful to Meghan. Despite the humiliation, she brought upon me, having everything out in the open allowed for me to heal in ways that I hadn't thought possible. Don't get me wrong, I am by no means completely past the abuse I had suffered for all of those years...but I'm closer than I've ever been before. 

I've developed a new daily routine with the help of Chelsea and Andrew. In the mornings, I get up early enough to spend some time in prayer, cook breakfast and even do a quick clean up around the apartment before leaving for work with Chelsea. I'm still getting back on my feet, but I think I can start paying my portion of the rent within the next couple of weeks. I would see Andrew everyday while at work. For the most part, he would come right before my lunch break and we would go to Burgers 'N Shakes for our regular meal. A couple days out of the week he would also join me and Chelsea to help us out around the cafe. 

I still haven't seen Meghan around, thank God. I'm not sure what I would do to be honest...and I rather not find out. After work, I would either go back to the apartment with Chelsea or Andrew, Chelsea, Walter and I would head out for dinner. A part of me felt that they were doing this out of pity, but as time moved on it became a way for me to deepen my friendships with them. 

It was Thursday and we were currently closing up the diner. Chelsea and Andrew were going around to all of the tables doing one last wipe down as I busied myself with packing up any leftover display items. As I finished packing away the treats and wiping down the counter, Walter waltzed in right on time for us to head out for dinner. 

"Hey Walter, how have you been since this morning?" I asked. As time went by, I began to feel a lot more comfortable around Walter. Especially since he only has eyes set on Chelsea, romantically at least. Although, the closer he became to Chelsea, the closer we became as well. He reminds me a lot of my brother now that I think about it...the thought had me sad yet feeling more comfortable around him than before. Chelsea turned around to see Walter already looking at her before a blush spreads over her face. I pause momentarily to look at them. When are they just going to date?  Andrew made his way over to the counter, walking behind it to grab his jacket before making his way over to me. 

"They really just need to go ahead and date already" He sighed. I chuckled in agreement before finishing closing up the counter area. "Here you go, pumpkin" Andrew held my jacket out to me before handing me my tips for the day. "Ready to go, lovebirds?" At that Chelsea huffed before stomping her way over to grab her jacket and tips. 

"We are not lovebirds, Andrew" She glared at him as she passed. 

"And the Pope isn't Catholic." He replied. She threw her hands up while mumbling about how she's surrounded by a bunch of dimwitted males. I lightly laughed at her response before heading towards the door. After making sure everything was locked up, we began walking towards Burgers N' Shakes. 

"Ladies, I was thinking that we'd do something different tonight. How about we do a dinner night in this time?" Walter casually mentioned as he and Andrew continued to walk. Chelsea and I both stopped after what he said before looking at one another. To be honest, I instantly felt uncomfortable with idea. I didn't want any males at home, not in my safe place. Yet, a part of me felt that if I wanted to work through my fear, which I knew I would have to eventually, that it'd be best to do so with Walter and Andrew, while Chelsea was present too. We could go to their place...in an unknown house where we don't know where we are? Nope. I don't think so. I shuffled my feet as I continued to ponder on the thought...if I decline, then that might hurt their feelings and thus our friendship...I don't want to hurt the friendship that we've built thus far...this is too complicated. Whatever I choose I feel like isn't going to be a good choice per say...I'm just going to go with whatever Chelsea decides. 

"Ally?" Chelsea asks me. 

"I'll go along with whatever you decide, cricket." I murmured, a bit unsure of my decision but I honestly don't think that Chelsea would do anything that could result in me being hurt- not intentionally at least. 

"Okay then...how about we head to the store real quick and then to our place for dinner. Is that alright?" I felt a sudden itch in my throat as my heartbeat started to pick up. I simply nodded in response seeing as the lump in my throat didn't allow for me to speak, not properly at least.