Letters to Elle

11 | Secrets as Dark as Blood

I don't know if people are just reading this and not voting and commenting or something, but I seriously feel like this story is a fail and I should quit writing it. :3 So if you read this, would you PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE vote and/or comment so I know that this story is worth spending so much time writing. 

Thanks! 

xoxo, tori

                        ELEVEN

                        SECRETS AS DARK AS BLOOD

                                    ♡ ♡ ♡

I guess I really am the bitch here. The letter wasn’t even worth it, seeing Marnie cry. I didn’t learn anything new. The damn letter wasn’t even signed. Regret is gnawing at my stomach, but there’s nothing that I can do to stop it. What’s done is done, and I can’t take anything back. I just wish that Marnie hadn’t cried. Maybe if she hadn’t cried, my feelings would’ve been different. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so shitty.

            Hell, who am I kidding? No matter what, I’m going to feel shitty. I invaded Marnie’s privacy. That’s not something that someone can forgive easily.

            When my phone rings and I see that it’s Cara, another wave of hurt washes over me. Not only had I betrayed Marnie’s friendship with me, but I’d also abandoned Cara. She’s been calling me multiple times this past week, and every time I’ve ignored her.

            My fingers hovers over the ‘answer’ button. It’s time to talk to her. Get things over and done with.

            “Hello?” I say into the phone tentatively.

            “Waverly.” Her voice is cold and void of emotion. I don’t blame her. “You answered.”

            I busy myself with a stray string fraying from the edge of my duvet. “Yeah, I did. Listen, I’m—“

            “Where the hell have you been?” Cara shouts into the phone. I’m tempted to hold the phone away from my ear, but I resist. “I’ve been calling you so much lately, trying to see if you’re okay. And you don’t answer.”

            “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

            “You ditched us again, Waverly.”

            I’m silent, because I know that she’s right. I ditched her, Jer, and Jake again. I don’t think that I did it intentionally; I was just looking for a different life. I was looking for a different way to feel. A different situation, I suppose.

            I hear a sigh on the other end. “I’m sick of this game, Waverly. This is the second time you’ve done this. It’s like Elle all over again. Something bad happens—like the vase—and you just seemingly disappear off the face of the earth as if you never even existed at all.” Cara’s voice gets quiet and soft, and a pang rings through my chest all over again. How can I be so callous? “I miss you, Wave,” she says. “How can you not know that?”

            “I—“

            “And I need you, Waverly,” she says, this time more forcefully. “Can’t you realize this already? I have no idea what the hell happened at the cemetery the other day, and when I find out that you have answers, you disappear. Again. I need you, and you disappear. This happens all the time.”

            She needs to understand that I didn’t tell her anything at the café because I was protecting her. “I’m not trying to abandon you, Cara,” I say.