Analyzing Isaac (manxman) NaNoWrimo 2013 Winner

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 (Issac's gift------->)

 

 Taking a seat behind my desk in my office at the Institute, I leaned forward and turned my computer on; and as always there were several stacks of paperwork waiting for me to go through them and invoices that needed my signature. I flipped through them and once my computer went through its start up process, I immediately logged into my email account to check for any new information from Mr. Siegel about his progress with Isaac’s case.

 It has been a few weeks now since Isaac and I stood right here in this very office and shared our first kiss. He had asked me to give him some time and I have. I have not laid eyes on him since that day, but I have talked to him over the phone and now his Cousin and his Aunt are back in his life and they haven’t failed not once to come and visit with him on the weekends. They showered him with love and acceptance, and it helped him so much with his recovery.

 As it turns out Isaac’s real Father’s side of the family was wealthy, they were big into cattle and oil with roots firmly embedded in Beef Country smack dab in the middle of Texas. It made it all more the sad knowing that he could have had a life of privilege and pampering if had had grown up with his Aunt and Uncle and the multitude of other relations they told him about, rather than having lived in that nightmare with his sadistic Stepfather.

 I had set it up so that he and his family met with Mr. Siegel and the good Lawyer went through everything with them, and brought them up to date on what was going on and what to expect in the future when he has gathered all the information necessary to go back to the Judge. Isaac’s case was slowly coming together and I was glad that everything seemed to be working out for him. That was my intent first and foremost, for him to be free from being labeled a murderer and for him to be happy, even if it wasn’t with me.

 He had flat out refused my request every time I had asked if he was ready to talk to me face to face, and it had hurt me to my core. I was just trying to the right thing, and it was all for him but he didn’t see it that way. Isaac had no idea how deep my feelings ran for him. I have basically let him have free reign in a locked institution. I have bent over backwards and stepped out of the normal routine to make sure he was happy. But he wouldn’t know that and I didn’t want him to.

 I have watched Isaac thrive in the last few weeks; his body was carved and toned to perfection. He began taking college prep courses via the internet with the financial support of his trust fund left to him by his deceased Father. But I still bought him a laptop with a wireless internet connection access and asked Flora to give it to him. I forbade her to tell him it was from me, I told her if he asked that it was provided by the Institution for educational purposes.

 While he thrived more and more every day, it seemed that I was slowly dying on the inside and it was beginning to show on my outward appearance and I didn't give a crap. I got what I wanted didn't I? Isaac was on a slow and steady path of healing, and for that I was overjoyed. I refused to dwell on what might have been between us romantically, but as much as I tried to fight the thoughts they kept creeping inside of my head and my heart at the most inopportune moments.

 In some ways I can truly understand why he didn't want to see me; it was because it hurt too much. I know, because I have spent hours making my eyes burn watching the security video feed on the third floor hallway to his room, the Recreational Room, and the Gym trying in vain to get my daily fix of seeing him. I was like a drug addict seeking his next score. I woke up thinking about him and I go to bed thinking about him, and I was exhausted and my heart hurt. I just wanted what I couldn't have but the fact still remained that I wanted him so badly it was painful to my mind and my body. But I refused to be the one thing that would hurt his chance to clear his name and start to his new life afresh.