Chapter 36
I’m sitting in a chair backstage, breathing in deeply as the make-up crew and other randoms run around like headless chickens getting last minute preparations ready. The want to cry is overpowering. As usual I’ve screwed up. But the want to actually physically destroy something – nonliving – is even more overwhelming. I feel like punching something, hard. Throwing around a couple of things. Stomping my feet on the ground and having a good scream. A traditional ear-piercing tantrum.
‘Why,’ I hear you ask? Two words: Jake McLane.
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This morning
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My usual alarm of Barney Stinson’s Suit Song penetrates the particularly lovely dream I’m having where my life is problem free and lovey-dovey, just how I want it to be. I hit the snooze button on my phone before turning over, bringing the sheets with me. A few minutes later the hairs on the back of my neck raise up and I slowly turn back around to see what kind eerie presence I’ve picked up on.
His face stares back at me, a mere 2 inches away from my own.
I scream.
“OH MY GOD! JAKE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
He holds up some familiar looking pieces of paper, waving them in front of me, “I think I should be asking you that.”
I snatch them out of his hands, stuffing them between my mattress and the wall, “Did you read them?”
His eyes narrow, telling me all I need to know, “Are you out of your mind?” His voice is low, making me flinch, rather due to the fact that he’s not shouting. “This is the ‘big secret’ you’ve been hiding? This whole ‘mysterious’ past with Matt thing? You couldn’t even tell me that?”
“Jake, please–”
His blue eyes are filled with hurt making my heart clench as the paper scrunches up in his fist, “You don’t even trust me enough to tell me something as important as this? How do you think I feel Hailey? I’m your boyfriend! Not to mention you told Linc about everything but you refuse to tell me.”
My heart throbs with each question, ramming the rusty nail of guilt straight through my heart. “Jake, I really –”
“I want to break up.”
My eyes widen considerably, “Y-you what?”
“I want to break up.” He repeats, his own eyes now solemn.
My mouth opens and closes wordlessly as I try to process what he’s saying.
No, he can’t mean it. He can’t.
*
And then I wake up.
I leap up from my bed, now completely wide awake, the worst possible nightmare I could have at the moment still floating behind my eyes. I stumble out of my room and barge right into Jake’s, not really caring who’s around or bothering to close the door.
He turns around on his wheelie chair, looking towards me, his face lighting up, “And to what do I owe the pleasure so early in the morning?”
My legs feel weak as I confirm that I just had a bad dream and Jake and I are still together. I lean against the door jamb for support and I cover my face with my hands and breathe a sigh of relief.
“You alright babe?” I jump at Jake’s warm breath brushing against my ear, surprised by his sudden movement.
I let out a shaky laugh, playfully punching him on the shoulder, “You know I hate you calling me that.”
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Surviving the McLane Boys ('On Hold Still...')
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