Snowflakes And Shadow Crowns

The calm

  Jack gasped as he was evicted from the realm of nightmares, a sickening feeling washing over him as his eyes ripped open. His mind was muddled hazily, and he gripped his stomach as he curled into a ball; a wicked cough racked his entire body. His skin was covered by a sheen of icy sweat.

  Oh god, oh god. His mind chanted repeatedly as he trembled violently. Jack took his head in his hands and breathed heavily; a strange, almost ravaged feeling settled in the pit of his stomach.

  Where was he again? His entire being was submerged in a feeling of confusion. Why was he here? What was he doing? Jack squeezed his eyes shut as he desperately tried to calm his frantic heartbeat, his hands forcefully tangled in his white hair. 

  Then a quiet knock sounded at the door.

  Jack shot his head up, a slight dizzy feeling over taking him. He froze.

  "Jack?" The soft voice questioned from the other side. "It's me, Toothiana." She reassured him, but Jack felt anything but. Before he could say anything, the door opened slightly. It was only then that Jack realized that the room was swathed in darkness; the light from the entrance pouring in but leaving him obscured by shadow.

  "Jack?" She called again. "What's wrong?" Tooth sounded genuinely worried for him, but Jack was quite sure that she couldn't truly see him, just his contrast against the rest of the darkness, and a part of him wished that she couldn't see even that. The door opened more when Jack didn't respond, this time the light shining completely on him. Jack didn't even flinch as he heard Tooth gasp. 

  "What's happened, Jack?" She questioned, a look of surprise on her face. Jack looked up at her silhouette, squinting from the light, and let out a shaky breath. He could not think of anything to say and he suddenly felt the overwhelming desire to bolt.

  "I-I..." Jack closed his eyes and furrowed his brow as Tooth flew next to him and sat on her knees, placing a hand on his shoulder.

  "I heard you shouting." She said softly to him, and he could tell that she wanted him to say why. Only, Jack didn't know why; more specifically, he didn't remember. He could vaguely recall the image of Pitch and the sound of his demented laugh...

  "Uhh...I...it's..." Jack averted his gaze to stare into the darkness and hesitated for a moment. "Just a nightmare." He finally got out, sighing softly as his body began to calm down. "I'm fine." Tooth didn't really seem to believe him from what he could see of her face.

  "Are you sure you're fine? You sounded like you were..." She trailed off. Jack frowned as he regained his breath. Her face seemed conflicted, as if she didn't even believe what she was going to say. Jack's stomach tossed a bit as he began to fear the worse; bits of his dream were returning painfully slow.

  "Like I was...?" He asked softly. The atmosphere grew awkward.

  "It's just--You were calling out Pitch's name so I was worried something had happened." She said at last. Jack felt his face grow suddenly warm, and he thanked the moon that it was too dark to see as he was sure his skin was stained with a light blush.

  Calling out Pitch's name? He said to himself slowly in his mind as he remembered everything suddenly. Oh god, but that means...

  "I-I don't really remember...uh...my dream, that is." Jack felt like choking as he held back a nervous chuckle. "But I-I'm sure it was nothing." Jack pursed his lips. He couldn't tell if Tooth believed him, but he hoped more than anything that she would.

  "Are you sure you don't need anything? Maybe Sandy could help you with--"

  "No!" Jack said all too suddenly, then cleared his throat. "Uhh, I mean, that's alright. No need to bother him since he's busy." Jack said quickly; not wanting to get the Sandman involved fro several reasons. Not only could Sandy always seem to peer straight through his lies, but dreams were kind of his thing. Jack didn't want to risk anything of what happened last night somehow leaking. He could tell that Tooth was silently questioning his strange behaviour, and suddenly he felt like he really should have just stayed in that Antarctic trench all that time ago.

  "Well," She hesitated. "If you need us for anything, Jack, we're all here, alright?" Jack just nodded, not completely sure f she saw him, but when she flew silently out of the room and closed the door behind her, Jack let out a sigh. The silence quickly flooded in around him and he found himself shivering at the strange feeling prickling at the back of his neck.

  Jack swallowed hard as he thought back to his dream. Never before had he ever felt so desperate for something in his life. Jack honestly wasn't sure what he had wanted, but he knew more than anything that he had needed Pitch.

  And, if he weren't lying to himself, he wasn't entirely sure in what kind of way.

  The last time he had been to the Boogeyman's lair, Jack had felt rather awful. It had all started with his innocent and funny idea to bring the older spirit a popsicle, but then somehow he just couldn't prevent himself from going back every other day after his success; that eventually turning to every day. By the time Jack had realized something was changing, the new outlook he had of Pitch had already planted itself in his mind--his emotions as well--and had already begun to grow until Jack found himself reluctant to even see the man. And it wasn't that he started despising Pitch over time, but rather, he was afraid that the shade might have noticed how clumsy he had suddenly found himself being around him. He was scared that Pitch would hear how his heart would become frantic whenever Jack got close enough to him, or how his breath hitched in his throat when he accidentally brushed against him. However, the one thing that Jack was terrified of most was, not that Pitch would notice his change of behaviour, but that he would begin to sense his newfound fears. And the last thing he needed was Pitch to ask him something like, 'What has you so afraid of me suddenly?' Or to make some snarky comment like, 'So NOW you fear me, you brat?' Because Jack didn't fear him, and he didn't want to explain to him why he was afraid.

  Jack huffed out an irritated yet sorrowful breath as he dropped his head back into his hands.

  "I can't keep on like this." He mumbled pitifully to himself, the urge to curl up and die stronger than ever.

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