Face The Music

No Place Like Home

Josh was still holding me as he said to the cab driver, "1712 Acadia Road, please." The cabbie nodded.

"Ugh," I groaned, burying my nose in Josh's shirt. "Someone's been smoking," I whispered.

"I know," he whispered back, "but I don't think my shirt smells any better."

I ignored him and breathed in deep. Then I gagged. "Did you not change from last night? You sweated all up in this shirt!"

He burst out laughing, unable to stop.

"Just let me suffocate to death, already!" I hissed, frustrated, as I punched him in the arm, as hard as I could. "Ow! I hate you!" I exclaimed. "Why is your arm so hard?" I rubbed my sore knuckles.

"Is the poor princess too weak to punch a defenseless little boy?" Josh teased.

Now, I was angry. "Oh, Joshy boy, you're getting it now. I didn't even try that last time. I'm going to punch you so fucking hard, your arm will fly off your shoulder, through the window, and into that poor bastard's convertible over there. Ready?" I licked my lips, prepared to carry out my threat.

"Graphic," he commented drily. I shoved his shoulder.

"Put me down, now."

"But aren't you going to rip my arm off and throw it into that nearby car?"

"Shut up! Maybe I don't want to get my hands all dirty."

He smirked at me, not fooled.

"Or...maybe I don't want to not be able to punch your arm off and get embarrassed." I glared at him. "Put me down! You have to, eventually, you know."

He seemed to take this as a challenge. "Oh, on the contrary, my dear. I won't put you down until we get to my mom's house!"

Lying on my back, jammed sideways into the back of a taxi, as I was, I couldn't really move. And Josh held me fast. I squirmed this way and that, but there was no use. Giving up, I settled into his lap. This was going to be a long car ride.

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"That'll be $30," the cabbie said. He turned around to glance at us.

Josh looked at the cabbie, then at me, then at the cabbie, and then at me again. "Oh, fuck. Shit. Damn. I don't have any money on me."

"That's alright, I'll get it," I grunted as I struggled to sit up. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a few wrinkled bills. "Here, you go."

Abashed, Josh quickly thanked the driver and got us out of the car. "I'm so, so sorry. I'll pay you back. I promise. With interest. I'm sorry. Lots of interest, okay? So much fucking interest. I will pay you back," he rambled to me.

"You're fine. Seriously. Don't pay me back. It's okay. Don't pay me back. Don't pay me back. Don't pay me back. I SWEAR TO GOD, JOSH, ONE MORE TIME. DON'T YOU DARE PAY ME BACK. THIS IS THE 21ST CENTURY AND YOU SHALL NOT PAY ME BACK OR I WILL -- you don't want to know."

He seemed a bit afraid of me, at that point. "Okay..."

"Okay. Now, put me down."

Upon hearing my demand, he regained that evil look in his eye. "Nuh uh!"

With that, he bounced me in his arms and raced to the front door. We stopped on the porch. Josh shrugged at me apologetically. "No hands. You ring the doorbell."